cuddlemonsterdean:

dwelling on mold || 13×05 coda. please check AO3 link for additional tags!

A couple miles down the road, Dean cranks up the heat. Sam shoots him
a look. It’s May; they don’t need heating. Except, when you die, and
you get send back, the cold lingers for a while. Dean’s body knows
he’s been dead, like he’s been dead a gazillion times over.

Some alpha male asshole with an overpriced Jeep is crowding too close
to Baby. Dean signals, switches lanes, lets him pass. He’s not
driving slow exactly, but—ain’t like there’s anything to get back
to.

His chest throbs.

Dean swallowed a painkiller dry before getting into the car, plus a
little something extra to keep him awake. Sam is asleep already. At
some point, Dean may hallucinate sheep again, but who the fuck cares.
Sleep doesn’t help. It’s more cruel than anything, because it’s never
long enough, never deep enough, and the things he sees—and
then he’s got to get up again and it’s just more of the same. Do the
job, take care of Sam. Resist his stupid maternal urge that says take
care of Jack too, while everything else in Dean screams no, not
again. I can’t. Stop pushing me.

AO3