interstellarstorms:

Let’s discuss this episode from season 1 real quick. Based on the lack of regard Dean has for supernatural healers and their general conduct here, it’s reasonable to think that Sam hasn’t ever seen his big brother so close to death before. He’s definitely seen Dean pretty badly wounded, but Sam’s probably done his best to put those times out of his mind as well during Stanford because that’s what he does: he suppresses his own traumatic experiences for the sake of others. Here, he’s so young—only recently having lost Jess—and he’s already providing that beacon of hope he always does for Dean (and the fandom!) whenever things get bleak. And although it’s easy to forget with how often the boys die later on, this wasn’t the case back then! It’s no wonder Sam’s so scared, and so desperate to save his brother. He doesn’t really know what it’s like to be going at this alone, especially when he’s tied to the hunting life. Still, he’s taking on the burden of keeping faith for everyone already, and he’s never been allowed to put it down. This is why I’m thrilled with recent episodes giving glimpses into his mental health and the weight he carries, and why it’s so important that he has that after 13 seasons of playing the optimist.