Confession? Ok. I’m a 40+ single mom and I haven’t been intimate for 9 years. Only that one time in the last 16 years, too. I have only had 10 dates in the last 16 years and not a single one of them wanted a second date so I gave up long ago. I feel totally undesirable and know I will be alone for the rest of my life and I don’t know what’s wrong with me. It’s a long time to go without being touched and I feel like it’s made me a bitter person and I don’t know how to get my spirit back. :(

oneshoeshort:

First and foremost, there’s nothing invalid with the way you feel. Everyone deserves to be loved and desires in a sexual manner. 

Second off, if I may suggest (and in the last 8 years I’ve made a habit of suggesting this) eHarmony. Don’t run away just yet, hear me out!! I was a hopeless 22 year old virgin at the time. I had no idea what I was doing and I was just trying to test the waters as far as dating outside of my hometown (something my ultra-religious conservative family discouraged)

For someone that thought she’d be forever alone, for better or worse I decided to give it a try one early spring day in April of 2010. I was matched with a man whom I was only told was named Jonathan, he was 26, and in New Mexico.

I thought he was cute, nerdy, quirky, and clearly needed to get laid (lol) and started chatting with him. Turns out, he was a soldier stationed at WSMR, NM and deployed in Iraq when we were matched.

Little did I know:

5 ½ months later, we were married.

6 days before our 1st wedding anniversary, I gave birth to our son

Nobody wanted us to commit. I was told everything under the sun from “you met him online, he could be a psycho killer!” to “it’ll never work out, you’re too far away.” (Funny, as a combat engineer, he’s taught how to be a psycho killer to fight our enemies overseas) He was told I wasn’t real, and that women like me didn’t exist in real life.

Here we are, almost 8 years later, proving all those fuckers wrong.

I gave up my career for my boys. I cut my blood relatives out of my life because the dork pictured above showed me that living in emotional, verbal, and psychological abuse is not okay. He has saved me from myself so many times it’s not even funny. He helped me discover my true sexuality. He helped me find my voice in the world and showed me how to make it loud when it counts. I am a strong, fierce warrior woman, but I didn’t start out that way. This man raised me up to be the fierce bitch y’all interact with today.

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I want everyone to have what I have. I want everyone to find love and happiness and their forever mate. I was skeptical about dating online. Now, I’m a success story. I want everyone to be a success story like me. So forgive me if this seems like I’m using your ask to promote my family (I swear I’m not) but it is my hope that you take something I did and make it into something for yourself. I encourage everyone to do just that.

I blame @wolfsilverlight for my word vomiting in this ask.

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Confess Unto Me?