pantheonofdiscord:

For Lack of a Better Word

Part 17/24:
Lachesism
noun
1. the desire to be struck by disaster;
to survive a plane crash, or to lose everything in a fire

Castiel does a lot of driving over the next two weeks. Up
and down, east and west, criss-crossing backroads and highways and never
staying still for more than a few hours. He’s not using a map, not heading in
any particular direction. It’s almost as if he’s letting the road itself lead him,
and he follows the bends and curves and turns almost mindlessly. Delaware,
Ohio, Alabama, California; he checks different states off a mental list, seeing
their fields and mountains but registering absolutely nothing. He gives Kansas
a wide berth.

Some nights he stays at motels, others he simply pulls over
on a deserted stretch and climbs into the backseat to sleep. He changes cars
every few days, and he only uses cash, pilfered from the bunker’s emergency
supply before he left.

Castiel is quite certain his evasive efforts have been
sufficient, but he’s still anxious, looking over his shoulder wherever he goes.
There’s a nagging piece of him that fears facing Sam and Dean, after all the
damage he’s done and the pain he’s caused. He fears being found.

There’s another piece of him that’s desperate for it.

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