The models of attraction don’t model the messiness of attraction

too-spicy-and-too-queer:

I really like that the aro and ace communities have come up with models of different kinds of attraction and relationships.  It’s badly needed in a society that portrays only a tiny handful of incredibly narrow “correct” narratives of intimacy, and these models have clearly helped a lot of people.  They fill a need just like how the models of gender made by nonbinary communities have helped people, and have the potential to help society as a whole beyond queer communities.  But one thing I don’t see in many discussions about models of attraction is how attraction is super messy and doesn’t neatly fit these models sometimes, or at all for some people.

Keep reading