interstellarstorms:

Never Again

Autonomy was such a funny thing about humans, Castiel thought. Such an odd little custom that made such a difference.

Angels have no custom of autonomy. Without corporeal forms, how could they? Angels really have no need for the concepts of choice and independence, but on Earth, it became easy to see that humans depended on them. After all the time the angel had spent stationed on Earth watching humanity, Castiel had begun to think he understood it all a little better. It took only days after meeting Sam Winchester to realize how wrong he was.

The rules just didn’t seem to apply to Sam Winchester. He was the Boy with the Demon Blood, and yet he was kind. He towered over any other human in sight, and yet he seemed so small. But strangest of all, he was violated time and time was again, and yet he never fit the pattern of human victims Castiel had seen over the years.

What struck Castiel most about Sam’s behavior was hard to explain. The young man barely showed any signs at all of being used as a pawn in a larger game in which he had no say. After every kidnapping and every violation, it was business as usual for the boy. And yet, there was something disturbing about his actions. Castiel just couldn’t put his finger on it.

It took ages for him to finally figure it out, or so it felt like. In comparison to the centuries he’d spent thinking he’d figured it all out, a couple months seemed like nothing, but time was different around the Winchesters. Maybe it was because Sam was only twenty-seven years old, that as Castiel began to see through the young man’s eyes, time seemed to slow. But regardless, it struck him.

Sam’s voice was what gave it away. It was the only thing that would shift after his ability to make his own choice had been taken yet again. It was the only sign that yes, Sam Winchester did understand the importance of what had been taken from him. And that was how Castiel realized it: Sam had hardly even known autonomy. Choice—the principle which was hardwired into every human brain—had never factored into Sam’s equation. And all of a sudden, it became too much.

So in the end, as Castiel faced his older brother—an archangel without even the understanding of why angels would need consent nor desire to figure it out—it came down to this:

“You are not taking Sam Winchester,” Castiel threatened.

Never again.