deancasbigbang:

Title: Heart like a Wheel
Author: LoversAntiquities
Artist: Subtextiel
Rating: Explicit
Pairings: Dean/Castiel
Word count: 25000
Warnings/Tags: Model Dean, Photographer Castiel, Dean in Panties, Roadtrip, Genderfluid Dean
Posting: 10/1/2018

Summary:

Down on his luck in college, Dean Winchester finds a flyer taped to his dorm’s bulletin board, reading, “Looking for model for long term project. No gender preference, pays in cash.” And desperate as he is for cash, Dean can’t help but feel self-conscious about the entire thing, even after he applies and meets his soon-to-be employer, Professor Castiel Novak. Only Dean never expected him to be so attractive—and so explicit in his desires, as well.

What starts out as a presumably mundane project quickly evolves into Dean’s wildest fantasy, full of lace and nudity and the open road. What he never expected to get out of it, though, is a boyfriend, a better view of life as he knows it, and a lesson on how even the ugliest of scars can be beautiful.

---

Dean knows what Castiel sees there: the scarred portion of his ribs and the remains of a tattoo hidden there, surgery scars around one knee leading halfway down his calf, slices on his wrists he still can’t admit to himself that he inflicted. He’s a mess, every inch of him.

Yet, Castiel regards him with compassion, skirting his hand down Dean’s arm, down his flank, to rest over his hip. Too intimate—too real. “I never expected you to be a porcelain doll,” Castiel tells him. He thumbs over a scar, feeling the raised indentation there. “Where did you get these?”

Dean sighs. Scrubs his face, just to keep from having to look at Castiel. “Another day,” he huffs, pulling his arms around himself. “Not exactly dinner conversation.”

Castiel nods and pulls his hand away. “Fair enough,” he says, no malice intended. “Are you self-conscious about any of your scars at all?”

Briefly, Dean glances down to his leg, then up to his side, considering between the two. The coloration on his calf has faded over the last few years, enough to where he can wear shorts in the summer when absolutely necessary without attracting attention. His torso, though, is another question entirely—and it’s exactly where Castiel wants to focus his attention. “Guess I can’t really say no to taking my shirt off,” Dean mutters.

“The scars are part of you, though,” Castiel soothes. It doesn’t help Dean feel any better, but at least he’s trying. “You’re unique.”

“Unique.” Dean shakes his head. “You think anyone’d be interested in looking at that, some guy with botched tattoos?” Castiel doesn’t answer that, jaw set in a way that unsettles Dean’s stomach. Great—just what he wants to do, piss off the guy he’s about to share a car with. “Look, just… I’m not used to being… looked at like that. What I do, it’s just to help people. I’m not exactly eye-candy.”

“Some would disagree,” Castiel says, noncommittal. Too noncommittal, actually, if the light flush to Castiel’s cheeks is anything to go by. “It doesn’t matter what people think of you. All that matters is that you’re confident in yourself. Your confidence is what draws people to you, that keeps their interest. You have that charisma, you’re just too shy to show that part of yourself.”

Deep. Dean turns his back, clenching the top of the couch just to keep himself steady. How does Castiel know? And how can he say it with such confidence? Embarrassment paints him red, down his back and up to the tips of his ears. “Because whenever I try,” he starts, slow, testing the waters, “it always gets thrown back in my face.”

Castiel touches him, a hand placed square between his shoulder blades; Dean hates how much it calms him, just from being touched. “I won’t abuse your trust,” Castiel promises. “I don’t want you to be something you’re not. You’re safe with me.”