QueerTips Says: Home for the Holidays

outforhealth:

It’s that time of year again. For some people, winter holidays are a wonderful time to connect with family and friends. For queer folks, well, sometimes it’s not that simple. While some people are fortunate to have outspokenly supportive communities of family and friends, for others returning home as a queer person—whether you’re out or not—can be complicated.

Here are some tips for getting through the holidays with as much of your head and heart intact as possible.

• For starters, here are some basic tips on self-care; if things get especially rough, here’s how to survive a panic attack.
• Minimizing contact with unsupportive people isn’t always possible. Myriad reasons exist why not spending time with your homophobic parents or loudly bigoted uncle might not be possible. If your finances and overall safety aren’t on the line, though, it might be worth it to consider spending less time with them if you can, or with other friends or people from your community. Doing something unusual or unfamiliar can be scary, and asking to join someone else’s holiday tradition is a risk, but it may be be a healthier alternative than putting yourself in harm’s way by spending an extended period of time surrounded by people who can’t or won’t support you as your most authentic self.
• Give yourself anchors to hold on to. Whether it’s planning a Friendsgiving celebration after the holiday or saving a few episodes of your favorite TV show to watch when you can get some alone time, plan things to look forward to during and after the holiday celebrations you’re nervous or uncertain about. It’s important to build in a light at the end of the tunnel.
• The buddy system: Before the holidays, let supportive people in your life know that you anticipate being with your family might not be easy for you, and ask if a few of them would be willing to help you through it. Whether that means you have some designated texting buddies to vent to, or you’ve built in an escape plan for someone to pick you up from your house if you feel unsafe, communicating your fears and anxieties about the holidays with those around you, and building a plan in case you need an escape or just someone to listen, might help alleviate some of that stress.

Here are some other holiday resources for you:

• Feeling lonely this holiday season? Check out Your Holiday Mom for all the lovely, supportive messages you need, aimed at LGBTQ youth without supportive families.
• Holiday LGBTQ self-care kit

• Holiday related resouces for LGBTQ people and their families

• Your Holiday Mom, “A blog run by a bunch of moms (and sometimes other parents) who will post a letter to you daily until Christmas with words of acceptance and welcome. It was designed specifically as a project for kids and adults who face rejection over the holidays because of their sexuality or gender.”

• Six Tips for Dealing with Your Difficult Family Members Over the Holidays

Stay safe, queers, and have as happy a holiday as you can!