my shit brain: i’m so bad at this, i just can’t do it-
me, a learning, growing human being whom believes in her own potential: yet bitch!!!!
you’ve been tricked by the education system into thinking that your worth is based on your ability to do the thing Right Now on the First Try, but here’s the big secret: everyone sucks at shit when they first try it, including the people who then get really good at shit. if little baby you had given up on talking because you fucked up on the first try, you wouldn’t know how to talk. and if your favorite singer/artist/whatever gave up because they fucked up on the first try, they wouldn’t have made that thing you love. so stop shitting on yourself for failing and get excited about learning a new skill instead! be bad at things!! have fun being bad at them!! that’s how you get better!!
@thekatherinewinchester Me currently at work. Only week before the first day of school and no office to move into yet. lol Gotta love remodels and construction. 🙂
It is a constant struggle being an adult. I wish I had more hours in a single day. I get so easily distracted by all the side projects when I get on here. If I’m not drinking coffee then you know something’s wrong.
If I was willing to make a video, I would have, because when I got in my car Carry on My Wayward Son was on the radio. But I won’t do that without a prewritten script, so…no. Maybe one day.
In any case, look at that hair!!!! I knew I wasn’t going to be around Friday night, so I made sure to go on Wednesday, so I still got two days in. Next week I’m aiming for three days and at least one day at home doing something– probably strength training because I enjoy that, so it’s easier to get the motivation to do that at home.
I’m slowly starting to remember how to breathe. I didn’t feel totally smashed after our rolls at the end of class…it helped that I had a fantastic first match and rode that through the other two matches.
The flight was more like a tumble through the air. Castiel practically crashed in front of the entrance to the bunker.
But he didn’t pause to ponder on the scorching feel of the foreign grace somewhere inside Jimmy’s skin. He hurried into the bunker, flying, as soon as he passed the warded entrance.
He found him from the first try.
Slumped unconscious on the table, with alcohol-stained breath and still bloody face, Sam was oblivious to his entrance.
Castiel paused to stare at the human. At the human who manajed to condem and save the world once. And only one thought he never wants to associate with Sam Winchester came to his mind.
Broken.
Broken, fragile, human soul, that wept so loudly, that even Castiel’s fading grace resonated with it’s devastation, echoing with his own pain over the loss.
His hand found Sam’s forehead, and he bowed his head.
Castiel hadn’t been in the dating pool for quite some time, so he wasn’t sure if taking someone to buy a suit constituted as flirting.
“Don’t you have to be with Jack?” he asked as they got off the metro in Alexandria.
Dean shook his head. “He headed back to school today, said he wanted to feel normal. So I let Benny and them take care of security. Sam said he’d kill me if I didn’t take a bit of a break.”
He took the steps up into the sunlight two at a time, so Castiel had to double his pace to follow him. The streets were slightly less crowded here than they were in the heart of the city. Cas took his first full breath in what felt like months.
He refocused on the conversation and nodded. “Your brother.”
“And the weirdest mother hen roommate you’ve ever met. You’d think he was the one to raise me.”
Cas paused. “Raise?”
Instantly, he kicked himself. This was what Meg meant when she called him socially inept, however affectionately. He always put his foot directly in his mouth.
Dean didn’t seem bothered. “Yeah. Mom died when I was eighteen, so I fought to get custody of Sammy. He was a snot nosed little brat, but I wasn’t about to let somebody else take him. Family, you know?”
Cas nodded. Even a week ago, he wouldn’t have realized what that meant. But thinking about Jack’s face—
“He’s only four years younger than me, so we were pretty much looking after each other, but I still tease him all the time about it.”
His face darkened slightly. Cas tried to imagine him at eighteen, the five o’clock shadow coming in far patchier, with a kid brother by his side. He certainly couldn’t have done the same at eighteen. He’d been buried in college applications, worried about how he was going to survive the interview portion of his science fair entry (answer: he hadn’t).
“That’s why I worry about Jack. I know what it feels like to just—be adrift.” Dean waved his hand vaguely. “And yeah, he won’t have to worry about money or anything, but he’s got the eyes of the world on him. It’s going to be so hard.”
Cas tugged at his collar. “I want to help him. I need to—to make it up to Kelly. I mean, I want to help him, too, it’s not just because I’m guilty, but I need you to know where I’m coming from.”
The hand that brushed his wrist as Dean answered, “I know.”—was that flirting, too? Or was it just Dean trying to seem like he understood?
Either way, it wasn’t exactly something he had the energy to dwell on right now.
Karate, SPN Demonic Octopus Guardian 