Both brothers looked at Melissa for back up. She shifted uncomfortably. No faith healer she’d ever seen had been ‘the real deal.’ There had always been something working behind the scenes. But Dean was hurt and she couldn’t do anything about it. Whatever LeGrange was using was working, and that’s all she cared about.
In the beginning that was the beginning, there was Light and there was Dark. They were vicious in their codependent cycle of destroying everything the other tried to make. These new creations will have none of it.
Michael gets to meet Balthazar because— why is Balthazar trading Heaven’s weapons for human souls? “Balthazar! This is not okay!”
Asmodeus is pissed. He’s lost Gabriel. Lost Lucifer and Castiel and Jack. In a last-ditch effort to regain control, he goes after his “brother’s” failed experiment: Sam Winchester.
Sam, the one who was supposed to be the Boy-King of Hell. Who was fed Azazel’s blood at 6 months of age. Who was groomed to become the vessel for Lucifer. Who DID house the archangel and then spend centuries in the cage.
Now, Asmodeus, last Prince of Hell, has been juicing on archangel grace. And he’s in need of a replacement pet seeing as his last one was stolen so rudely. May as well try keeping this one on a leash of blood-lust.
Sam doesn’t do well in Hell. The demon-grace blood reawakens Sam’s old powers…and sparks some new ones. But can he keep himself sane long enough to gain control? Will anyone even notice he’s gone? Gabriel was practically catatonic and Cas more worried about Dean and Jack than anything else when Sam was taken by demons on a grocery run.
And time…moves so much faster in Hell…
WARNINGS for physical and psychological torture, graphic scenes of violence and torture, disturbing imagery, major character death (temporary). Please tread carefully and take care of yourself.
Sam Winchester. He’s been through so much and yet can still feel empathy for those around him, including for those who do not deserve it. While I love Sam’s empathy, sometimes it makes me angry on Sam’s behalf that he has not received a fraction of empathy he’s given to others.
Most days I can tolerate Sam extending his empathy to less deserving creatures because his compassion and empathy has made him wise, cunning, and even dangerous. It makes him formidable.
What I also love about Sam is that he’s not pefect. He learned, acknowledged, accepted, atoned, and strives to be and do better. And in doing that he accepts other’s behavior and forgives them when they are not nice or forgiving or even redeemable. It what makes him as close to perfect as a human can be.
Sam is the best representation of humanity, he helps people even when he doesn’t have to, like when he was dying in a mental institution – he was in pain and misery but helped the girl tormented by her ghost brother into committing suicide. Sam would help anyone if they needed it, even those that really don’t deserve it.
So everytime someone at conventions ask where is Jesus on the show, everybody turns to look at Jared. The answer is obvious.
Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Castiel, Gabriel (Supernatural), Charlie Bradbury, Bela Talbot, Crowley (Supernatural), Ruby (Supernatural), Meg Masters, Bobby Singer, Jack Kline, Hannah (Supernatural), Missouri Moseley, Benny Lafitte, Pamela Barnes (Supernatural), Jody Mills, Lisa Braeden, Cain (Supernatural), Victor Henriksen, Kevin Tran, Chuck Shurley Additional Tags: D/s, Dom Castiel, Sub Dean, Secret Relationship, Actor Sam, Bodyguard Castiel, Bodyguard Dean, Switch Dean, Switch Castiel, Major Character Injury, Hurt/Comfort, Human AU, Bodyguard AU, no supernatural, Disabled Dean Winchester, Injury Recovery, Breathplay, Fingering, Bondage, Spanking, pain play, Frottage, Cock Warming, Prostate Massage, Sensory Deprivation, Coming Untouched, other tags added as needed, BDSM, Healthy BDSM relationship, Orgasm Delay, Orgasm Denial, Oral Sex, Hand Jobs, Dean is a bratty sub, Mentions of Mental Illness, Graphic depictions of violence – Freeform, Sabriel – Freeform, Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, marriage problems, Cain is an awesome therapist
Summary: Sam Winchester is America’s newest sweetheart. An in-demand actor and all around Boy Next Door. However, with his fame comes the need for protection. And Sam only trusts his older brother, and former beat cop, Dean, plus his best friend, Castiel Novak, to keep him safe. However, Castiel and Dean share not only a desire to keep Sam safe, but also a lot of friction between them. In an attempt to smooth the edges, Sam pleads with them to find a way to make things work. Castiel thinks Dean needs discipline. Dean thinks Castiel needs to lighten up. Together, they discover a lot more about each other than anticipated.
CHAPTERS HAVE BEEN EDITED AND UPDATED! I’m reposting the chapter links here because I’ve updated and edited several of them.
Chapter 02:NSFW! Castiel and Dean talk it out. And then stop talking it out.
Chapter 03:NSFW! Castiel disagrees with mornings. Dean gives him a reason to perk up. (CHAPTER TAGS:blow jobs, hand jobs, brief breath play, orgasm control, edging)
Chapter 04:NSFW! Charlie has news. Castiel has a bath.
NSFW because I can’t seem to stop with smut every chapter!
Castiel has an actual good morning. The Winchester family goes to the beach.(Chapter tags: bottom Castiel *I was asked very nicely to tag when relevant since they switch throughout the fic*, light immobilization *wrist pinning*)
Chapter 06:NSFW! Dean and Castiel lay some ground rules for their relationship before departing for Vancouver. (Chapter tags: mentions of mental illness *Sam*)
Chapter 07:NSFW! Sam has a rough start to filming. Dean has a shitty day. Castiel helps both of them. (Chapter tags: shibari)
Chapter 08:NSFW! Things go smoothly until they don’t. (Chapter tags: edging, dry orgasm, orgasm denial, prostate milking, bottom Dean, handcuffs)
Chapter 11:NSFW! Castiel and Dean work our their issues. (Chapter tags: vanilla sex, top!Dean, bottom!Castiel) – yes it’s a Christmas miracle! I wrote another chapter!
Chapter 12:NSFW! Dean and Castiel come clean to Sam. Sam drops a bombshell. A new chapter of their lives begin. (Chapter tags: spanking, wrist binding, frottage, cock warming)
Chapter 13: Dean learns things about fame he never wanted to know. Bobby steps in to help with Lucifer.
NSFW! Filming takes a hiatus for the holidays. Dean meets with Jody. Castiel is overwhelmed by the Winchester family Christmas. (Chapter tags: improper use of real handcuffs, oral sex, feels, Bobby Singer)
NSFW! Dean and Castiel announce their engagement. Sam insists on hosting the wedding. Missouri Moseley presides over all. (Chapter tags: comfort bondage, power bottom!Castiel, top!Dean)
Chapter 16:NSFW! The wedding reception carries on. Dean and Castiel exchange gifts. (Chapter tags: bondage, blowjobs, suspension play, orgasm delay, paddling, Top!Castiel, Bottom!Dean)
This chapter ends Part 1! Beware the tags on the fic indicating angsty stuff, because Part 2 is where it happens!
Chapter 17: After a lovely wedding, it’s back to business. Sam prepares for his convention tours. Castiel and Dean get a lead on Lucifer, and Bobby is envious of Castiel’s gun collection.
Chapter 18:NSFW! Sam arrives in Atlanta for a convention appearance. It does not go as planned. (Chapter tags: hand jobs, shower sex, graphic violence, very brief Sabriel (non-sexual), angst)
Chapter 19: Everything goes downhill. And then it hits rock bottom. (Chapter tags: graphic injury descriptions, major character injury, main character near-death, angst)
Chapter 20: There’s good news and there’s bad news.
Chapter 21: Dean wakes up. They learn more about the extent of his injuries.
Chapter 23: The trip back home goes smoothly. The transition does not. Jack does his best to help.
Chapter 24:NSFW! Dean and Castiel share some privacy. Cain gets to the heart of the matter during a joint therapy session. Dean comes clean about his feelings. (Chapter tags: hand jobs, Dean’s headspace)
Chapter 25:NSFW! Dean gets good news about his prosthesis. Castiel gets advice from Cain. Dean and Castiel re-establish physical intimacy. It gets a little out of hand. (Chapter tags: fingering, comfort sex, D/s emotional switch, too many words in this chapter)
Chapter 26: Dean and Castiel face some hard truths about themselves and each other, together and apart. Victor Henriksen has some worrying news.
Chapter 27: Dean confronts his feelings. Castiel takes issue with it.
Chapter 28:NSFW! Cain gives Dean and Castiel solid advice in their joint session, which they follow to the letter. (Chapter tags: graphic depictions of Dean’s healing injuries, hand jobs, oral sex, fingering)
Chapter 29:NSFW! Dean comes to terms with his limitations. Castiel tells him a bit of his past. The family has a bonfire. (Chapter tags: Mentions of PTSD, handjobs, mutual masturbation, mild bondage)
– High and low registers: Lucifer, Gabriel and the farcical
I want to start this post about words in 13×18 not from the obvious theme (speak! and use the correct words!) but from a different perspective. In particular I want to compare two moments: the exorcism scene and the mentions of the porn stars.
Let’s start with the exorcism scene – it was farcical in a jarring and disgusting way because it was supposed to be; all the Lucifer scenes in the episode (in every episode?) are creepy and obnoxious because that’s what he is. The priest invokes the “Most glorious Prince of the Heavenly armies, Saint Michael the Archangel” and gets Lucifer… which introduces us to an aspect I found very interesting about the scene.
The thing is, there is a deliberate gap in registers in the scene: the priests use the high register of religious formulas, but the demon and Lucifer talk at a much lower level, and the clash in registers gives the scene the character of a farce. Think Don Quixote speaking like (his idea of) a noble medieval knight versus… well, the unrefined register of vulgar people: there is an effect of pathetic that is born from the fact that a high register is completely out of place in the rest of the situation.
In general, all of Lucifer’s scene have a farcical nature: he pretends to be the grand ruler of heaven on the throne of heaven, but the throne is just a chair in a repurposed office, and he does nothing to actually rule… he’s basically an evil Don Quixote that thinks of himself as a noble knight but is actually a useless, violent dude.
I’d say that the clash in registers in the exorcism scene parallels the clash in registers in the scene about the porn stars: a high register (the whole “Enochian writings on the wall” that give a solemn angelic vibe, Sam’s speech about making the world a better place and Gabriel being needed) is juxtaposed to the low registers of the mentions of the porn stars in Monte Carlo.
This parallel juxtaposes Lucifer and Gabriel to show their difference – Gabriel has always used farcical humor as his modus operandi, it’s part of how he normally acts, and it does not chip away to his dignity at all. He used porn to help stop the apocalypse! He weaponizes the farcical and the low, he draws power out of it. On the other hand, dignity is exactly what Lucifer pretends to have but doesn’t. He’s no better or more dignified than the lowly demon that he calls a “total nobody”, he just likes to think he is.
In short, the feeling I get is that Gabriel – even in a traumatized state, barely holding it together, because that’s what he’s doing, even when he appears to be better – controls the registers (of course his farewell to Asmodeus is a mocking one-liner about his suit*), with Lucifer the thing just happens around him, until he pretty much loses control and destroys the priests out of annoyance.
*There’s also a parallel between the two mentions of suits in the episode: Lucifer is annoyed because the priests threw holy water at his suit (“It’s a new suit, thank you very much”), Gabriel says the line about Asmodeus’ dumbass suit. Again, it highlights the difference between the two – Gabriel is in control even if he’s barely holding it together, Lucifer isn’t in control even when he technically holds all the power.
– Use words, use the correct ones
I am not going to spend too many words on the theme that has been discussed to Mars and back over the season so far – we know what’s going on, the show is setting a narrative about the fact that you need to say things and you need to say them correctly. The Gabriel arc so far has been a blatant mirror for the whole narrative: first his mouth is sewn, then he chooses not to talk due to his trauma (hello, 1×03) but writes everything down (I also found interesting that Sam is like, why isn’t he talking to us, when Gabriel just filled the entire room walls with communication – he’s being nonverbal but he’s communicating, Sam dumbass, no offense) and eventually starts talking again… by immediately correcting Sam’s language. Sam uses the wrong word to refer to Gabriel’s sexual companions in Monte Carlo: Gabriel wrote about porn stars, Sam referred to them as hookers, and, well, the difference is substantial. Again, words are not interchangeable (especially, I might add, when we’re talking about sexual or romantic partners, or potential partners, right?).
Now, going back to the previous part of this post – many people have talked about the usage of the “we need you, I need you” line in the scene ever since the sneak peek was released, but the sneak peek didn’t show a fundamental part of the scene: the fact that the “noble” speech is sandwiched between mentions of the porn stars in Monte Carlo. That gives a sort of farcical aspect to Sam’s speech, purposely ‘lowering’ it from the ‘high’ register of the 8×17 quote. There is a dramatic irony in play there – Sam is moving in a high register (both on an intradiegetic level, i.e. what Sam is doing, and on an extradiegetic level, i.e. the 8×17 parallel the audience sees), but other elements in the situation make that register appear inappropriate and ridiculous. So it’s not a “copy” of the Destiel scene – it’s a sort of semi-dark parody of it.
Now, I am not going to dwell much on Gabriel as a parallel for Dean’s and Sam’s issues with talking about sensitive things, because we get it (interesting that Dean had no issues communicating about sensitive things with Ketch and Charlie, right? I wonder what that could mean), so let me digress a bit from the actual topic of the post to add a thing that fits in the picture.
– And while we’re talking about distinctions…
The episode does not only tackle the usual topic of using the right words. It also subtly reminds us of an old little theme, the distinction between familial love (in particular between siblings) and romantic love. (Do you think there’s a bit of making fun of the fandom panic that occurs when a female character is cast and people assume it’s a love interest for Dean, like it happened before Charlie’s first episode aired? Probably not, but I like to think there’s a little dig at the fandom panic thing here, lol.)
As Dean expresses strong feelings about Charlie, Ketch hypothesizes that she was a girlfriend of Dean’s. Later, Charlie basically has a moment of alarm when Dean tells her that they were “very” friends and she suspects that might mean a relationship. In both cases, Dean specifies that it wasn’t the case – he explains to Ketch that Charlie was like a sister to him, and reassures Charlie her alternate version wasn’t straight. But we know that Charlie’s sexuality matters relatively to the nature of her and Dean’s relationship, because even if she had been bisexual or straight, Dean saw her a sister, not someone he couldn’t have sexually or romantically because of her sexuality. So we’re reminded again of the distinct line between sibling love and romantic/sexual love. I wonder what that could mean…
– Sam and Gabriel and duty
Let’s return to Gabriel’s initial inability to speak (first physical, then psychological). Of course, it’s not just a parallel to Dean, but to Sam too. Ho ho, Sam. As usual, Sam explicits the “parallels” he sees between himself and the person he’s interacting with (there are some interesting posts out there about Sam’s way of sympathizing with others by drawing a comparison between his own experiences and the other person’s, or, at least, what he understands of the other person’s experiences though the lenses of his own), and he projects on Gabriel what he needs to believe about his own situation. Eventually… he doesn’t work. Sure, we know that Gabriel will change his mind about the situation and join the team, but we can reasonably expect that he’ll need more motivation (a different kind of motivation?) than Sam’s speech about himself and their supposed parallels. Sam also only mentions the “safe” old story of his retirement from hunting, and doesn’t touch his own inability to speak about his trauma (yes he did it with Rowena but he explicitly said he can’t do it with the people who really matter, i.e. Dean).
While we’re talking about this scene – the speech about making the world a better place, what he was “put here” to do, doesn’t work, and is in fact a little terrifying by looking at Sam through the lens of it. “What I was put here to do” empties his entire life of choice, and it’s an extremely meaningful piece of insight into Sam’s mind – he does not really conceive his life if not in terms of accepting or refusing a course of action. There doesn’t seem to be a concept of building his own course, but to accept the one that he’s supposed to follow or to reject it. He tells Gabriel that he chose it out of duty, basically – “rubbish”, Ketch calls duty shortly later. This season also has a theme about duty, about the fact that making life choices based on duty (duty alone) is bad. And this scene with Sam talking to Gabriel seems to tell us that Sam’s entire life course is only based on a sense of duty, because he conceives things as embracing the role written for him or reject it altogether, and duty obviously calls for the first.
We’re going to keep a close eye on Sam and Gabriel and how the progressions of their stories parallel each other. At the end of the day, it’s the same old issue: Sam doesn’t like his life, but he considers it a burden he has to shoulder…
I don’t really have any tips for doing this
other than having the name match the setting. Like if it’s a fantasy setting
like Lord of the Rings, the names
aren’t going to sound like your typical suburban residents’.
The same principle goes for naming places like
towns and cities and countries. If they aren’t set in our world, then they
likely won’t sound the same.
Here are a few name generators that I like to
use:
I’m tentatively hoping it’s Sam x Eileen because Dean x Cas is probably too early, if this was at the midseason hiatus I’d have said it’s a real possibility given my hopes for the 10 year anniversary 4×01-14×01 poetry but given the stagnation since, idk.
I’m tentatively hoping it’s Sam x Eileen as I still feel Eileen was built so strongly for Sam, what exactly was the point and are they really that awful to have done that to Sam just for the Dean/Cas 12×23 mirror? I hope not. I hope that Ketch killing Eileen was supposed to be horrific in a Charlie mirror, then they brought back Charlie and now will bring back Eileen in a kind of “see, Bucklemming aren’t that bad they’re so funny haha look they subverted their own crap!” kinda way which is what they’ve been doing all season like the Asmodeus chicken thing etc cos they think they’re so fucking hilarious and clever.
*Tink stares into the camera*
Given that killing Eileen and beating up Mary were the two big things Ketch did that were awful last season (and Mick but well…) and he’s going to come face to face with Mary soon, if they truly want to redeem him in a clear mirror way he //should// face AU Eileen and address his horrific killing of her.
Which brings her back for Sam.
Which… well this is all my speculation about her being a subversion waiting to happen since 12×21 so of course I’m hopeful, but I’m not delusional, just… hopeful. Because at the time in 12×21 I though it made sense and then Bucklemming’s actions all season lead me to feel even more so that they think this would be a hilariously great thing to do.
Sigh. But whatever, as long as they do it I’m cool with it. At the same time yeah the cast and crew trolling the fandom about a kiss knowing the bulk of fandom is going to get riled up about Destiel because they know that’s what we want but then giving us Saileen which we also want just not quite as hard but still would be super happy about it?
Trolling for Destiel and giving us Saileen whilst also building Destiel AF?
That also makes all the sense to me.
It’s what I’d do. ALL THIS ^ is what I’d do and so far they’ve very very very regularly done what I would do…
Fingers crossed.
These are the things my supernatural dreams are made of…