Demisexual culture is suddenly becoming attracted to a character 4 seasons into a show you’re watching, despite never looking twice at their appearance until that exact moment.
Sam was so worried and excited, the nerves bubbled in his stomach and his made his hands shake but at the same time he was trying his best to keep calm. He didn’t want his date to think he was a nervous mess.
Sam had never imagined he would actually be able to get to this point. He thought Castiel didn’t care much for him, or even knew who he was, but he had accepted his offer for a date happily and, even Sam thought naively.
Sam thought about the future, maybe if this went well they could even go on a second date and then start dating officially.
You’re foolish, Sam thinks to himself, but even the chance that this might work out, that they might even have a second date is enough to keep him focused the evening.
Sam had prepared everything and he thinks, momentarily, that Castiel would think he was trying to hard or overbearing. But at the same time he might would think it was sweet and charming. Should he bring the flowers? Was that too much?
Sam stared frustratingly at the flowers he’d gotten earlier that day. He didn’t know what do and he put his head in his hands and sat on his bed.
He had exactly two hours to decide and he just wanted to crawl into bed and pretend the entire thing was a dream.
Still ran his hands over his face, sitting here would only make things worse right? Plus he didn’t want to disappoint Castiel or, worse, or stand him up.
He showered, got dressed in a the nicest shirt he could find. Sam grabbed his phone, tucked his wallet into his back pocket and tucked the bouquet of flowers under his arm and headed towards the restaurant.
***
Sam meets Castiel at a local restaurant and he could hardly believe his eyes when he sees his date.
Castiel was wearing a wonderfully bright sweater that matched his blue eyes and Sam was at loses for words almost instantly.
With nervous shaking hands Sam handed the bouquet to Castiel and watched his bright light up even brighter. Castiel stared shocked before his face broke out into a huge smile. Castiel thanked him and stared graciously at the bouquet of flowers.
They sat and Sam’s nerves quickly bubbling away as they were able to easily talk. The food was excellent for diner food and Castiel listened to everything Sam said with interest he rarely saw from anyone. Even when he talked about his love for cooking healthy food and his crime shows. Castiel smiled brightly the whole time and even talked about his favourite tv shows. The conversation was easy and just peaceful, and Sam found time flew by until the sun was setting.
They paid for dinner and Sam stood near the door, he had to walk home and he wasn’t sure how to end their date. Despite how well it went he was tongue tied but thankfully Castiel spoke up.
“Thank you Sam, I enjoyed this night a lot,” He said with another sunshine smile and Sam’s heart soared.
“I think we should go out another time,” He clutched the bouquet of flowers to his chest gratefully.
Sam smiled, he thought he misheard but he nodded rapidly, he didn’t trust himself to speak.
Castiel smiled, “I’ll message you when I’m free,”
Sam nodded, “Sounds great,” He was trying to settle his breathing because this seemed like a dream.
Castiel left and Sam let out a breath he wasn’t realized he was holding. He smiled brightly to himself as he walked home hardly believing this evening had been real.
Awwww!!!! Sam is so anxious!!! I feel you buddy!!! Like, why did I decide to do this I must have been crazy? This is so cuuuuttteee!!!! 😀
Sam sat at the table, nursing a beer as the gentle ticking of the clock filled him with a bitter sense of longing. It had been days since Cas had laid in bed with him, even if just to watch TV. The angel had even limited even coming to his room, with most of his interactions with the angel being in the war room or library.
He and Cas had fought before. There had been betrayals, blows thrown… typical Winchester activity. But he and Cas hasn’t really had a fight while in a relationship. It had started to form during the search for Dean when the elder Winchester had been a demon. He was actually embarrassed he hadn’t considered the idea sooner. It made sense. Cas was smart and sweet, and was what Sam called a cynical optimist. He knew the world wasn’t fair, and that they were always out-gunned and out-manned, but he never left them despite that. He wanted to help make the world better, and to become better despite his mistakes. Sam could heavily relate.
How the hell was he going to recover from this? He wanted to get back in Cas’s good graces, but he still stood by what he had said about Lily. Her family had been murdered. How could he judge her quest for revenge after his whole life being shaped by the need to find the thing that had killed his mother.
“You’re still up?” Dean asked, hovering in the doorway of the kitchen, holding an empty glass.
“Yup. If I’m not sleeping, I’m not going to sit in my room alone.”
“Are you really still fighting with Cas?”
“You just got out of a fight with Cas, don’t give me that look.” Sam huffed.
“Well with you it’s different. One, the dating thing and two… you two don’t get worked up like this. It’s weird.” Dean retorted, walking over to the sink, robe flowing behind him.
“I know.” Sam said with a sigh, running a hand through his hair. “He just won’t talk to me. I want to talk to him, but I don’t know what to say. I know he’s upset. I can understand why he’s upset. Sometimes it’s just difficult to be dating someone that’s lived several lifetimes longer than you, and has experiences that you don’t know much about. You don’t know where some lines or and how to avoid crossing them.”
“Tell him that. Cas is reasonable. Even though he’s upset, he still loves you. I’m sure he knows that you didn’t actually mean what he thought you meant now. Just please… work it out. Seeing you both mope around is killing me. It’s like living in the fifteen minute sad section of a chick flick.” Dean teased, raising his glass as he left the room. “Now, Cas go talk to him.” Sam overheard once Dean was out of sight.
A sheepish angel passed through the doorway moments later, sitting across from Sam, silently putting his hand over the other’s. Sam turned his hand, taking Cas’s in his. The ticking of the clock didn’t seem so lonely anymore.
Wow! This is some intense angsting! Great to get into this with a first fight to start with. I think it’s really interesting that Dean was the catalyst for their make up (it’s so fun to think about all of Dean’s layers coming together to get them to snap out of it). I really love how beautiful the last paragraph is in particular! Great start!
“It’s like living in the fifteen minute sad section of a chick flick.”
“Life and Death are deeply in love. Life gives Death gifts, and Death keeps them forever.”
Who could tell how long Castiel had known Sam? Time was inconsequential to beings of their position. If asked, they could agree on three general facts relating to the question.
One, against popular belief, Sam was older. He had been around before God, before the Darkness… had occupied the empty and roamed it for what he would describe as millennia. Cas found it odd for death to exist without life, but in a way it did make sense. Emptiness and darkness was the default of the universe without outside influence.
Two, Cas existed before Earth and before the angels, walking among the stars aimlessly. He couldn’t find much out there, only small patches of the universe responded to his touch and blossomed with life and vitality. Now he couldn’t point them out if he tried, but he still knows that somewhere in the distance his touch lingers and life continues to thrive.
Three, it was Earth where the two had finally chanced upon each other. It was rather unplanned, accidental even. Though it was a bit of a celestial hot spot at the time, a brand new creation with endless possibilities.
————————————————————————————————–
While Sam had no reference as to how long he had known Castiel, the moment itself was searing into his memory, one that he visited countless times over the course of his existence.
He had come to Earth with a bit of reluctance, acting on business rather than preference. He preferred a recluse lifestyle, given the extent of his power. Light would dim in his presence, extinguish at his touch. Stars, suns, supernovas, no matter the energy, he was able to snuff it out without any effort. However, God was a bit of a fanatical nuisance and he needed to be sure this creation of his wasn’t going to cause too much trouble for this universe. He planned on visiting, assessing the situation, and returning to the peaceful ether of the universe.
After extensive wandering he caught sight of another being walking around with a gentle expression, eyes full of wonder and excitement. Small leaves and vines stuck haphazardly from his hair, grass sprouting from the ground as his feet made contact with the moist soil. His eyes were a light, pastel green, with glints of gold and blue.
Sam watched, curiosity sparking his interest at the unfamiliar form. It wasn’t often that someone as old as him encountered something unfamiliar. He would have been content watching from a distance, not needing to engage with the new entity one-on-one to satisfy the sense of novelty he felt.
Cas had caught notice of him from the corner of his eye, turning to look at him with a gentle sense of wonder that seemed … different than the initial gleam that Sam had noticed in his eyes prior. A prickle of unease settled in Sam’s chest, nervous at the other’s reaction.
To his surprise, Castiel made his way over, stepping so light he almost floated across the ground. Sam was rooted to his spot, watching warily as the other grew close enough to touch. What could possibly happen if he touched a being so vibrant? He was too scared to discover the answer, not wanting to extinguish the curious newcomer.
“Hello, I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Castiel, the entity of growth and vitality,” the shorter being said, his voice light, yet gruff in a near contradictory tone.
“I’m Death, but you may call me Sam. It is pleasant to make your acquaintance.” Sam answered, lifting his hand in a half-wave as he introduced himself.
“I’ve heard much about you, I have never thought I would have the honor to meet you face to face.” Cas replied, reaching to grab Sam’s hand as the other began to lower it back down. Sam nearly jumped back at the touch, panic attacking his nerves as multiple scenarios flashed in his mind. He was quick to recover upon seeing that Cas still stood before him, bright and vibrant as before, though now wearing a puzzled expression.
“If you did hear much about me, you wouldn’t have been so careless as to grab my hand. It’s dangerous, most of what I touch withers away upon contact.”
“But I didn’t, so it seems I have nothing to worry about.”
Sam let out a single, exasperated laugh. Was this entity for real? He should be thankful to be existence, not brushing this off as if the implications were nothing. He felt a soft shift in his chest, looking at the other with a renewed sense of interest. It was less analytical than before, fueled by something new entirely.
“Would you like a gift?” Cas asked, sounding genuinely excited at the thought.
“…Yeah. I would. I don’t receive many gifts, so that’s kind of you to offer.” Sam said, tone gentle. This entity was awaking a long forgotten part of himself, and in this moment he felt young and carefree. Something he thought he was no longer capable of feeling.
Cas kneeled, digging his fingers into the ground between them, creating a shallow groove in the ground as he lifted up a portion of soil in his cupped hands, feathered clumps of dirt sliding through the cracks of his fingers. A glow of light haloed the entity’s hands, and a small sprout poked out of the soil, growing rapidly into a bright orange flower with a broad, flat face.
“It’s new. Just for you.” Cas said, pushing himself to his feet, stretching his arms towards Sam with a half-smile, the corner of his mouth twitching up shyly.
“I don’t know if I can accept… it wouldn’t fair well with me.”
“I don’t care. I want you to have it. Forever.”
Sam laughed again, choking back a strong wave of emotion the gesture managed to pull from his chest. He took the soil from Cas’s hands, watching the flower dry up. The beauty was preserved, though the life that it once held was extinguished.
From that day forth, Cas continued to give him gifts over the course of millennia, and Sam continued to keep every last one.
Amazing!!! I’m so shook. What a great au!!!!! AU’s are my bread and butter but damn, this is just so cool. I’m stunned. This is so beautiful, and I just love the thought. Actual-cosmic-beings!au is so big, i just. Wow. Stunning
Even that painfully young alternate universe Dean that had showed up out of nowhere clearly knew that it was a suicide mission.
Castiel could have told Dean that the fabled Colt, the gun that had taken so much blood to obtain, would never work against an Archangel inhabiting his True Vessel, even a fallen and disgraced Archangel such as Lucifer. Not with the strength and power of Sam Winchester’s once-beautiful, broken soul for Lucifer to tap into, never so much as to use it all up, a continually renewing wellspring of power that fed Lucifer’s Grace like a glacier run off might have once fed the sea.
There were no more glaciers. Hellfire had melted them all away during the first year, raising the sea levels and drowning huge populations of island or coastal people, forcing humanity further and further inland, herded like cattle for the Croats to feed upon and the demons to pick among the rest for hosts.
Castiel wondered sometimes if Lucifer did that just because he knew it would hurt Sam more. He always drowned such thoughts in opiates and cannabis smoke, strangling to purely psychological pain behind the wall of numbness and sexual pleasure that always paled in comparison to the memory of the once fleeting brush of Sam’s hand and the shy flicker of his eyes behind a curtain of hair. Graceless and cut off from Heaven as he was, abandoned by his brothers and emotionally left behind by his chosen General, his sober mind was still too sharp to forget, sharp enough to cut himself to pieces if he let it, so he didn’t. Ever. Let it.
He was forced to keep a certain level of sobriety before the mission. Dean wouldn’t allow anyone to go who wasn’t “firing on at least half-cyllanders” as he put it, and Younger Dean had looked so honestly frightened by Castiel’s drug use and sexual debauchery that the former angel just didn’t have the heart left in him to argue.
The angel once accused of having too much heart, now with barely enough heart to spare his only remaining might-have-been-family.
Abaddon was the one who caught him, dragging him away from the others despite his efforts to remain behind and protect the few humans still left alive. The Knight of Hell was more than a match for him as he was, red painted lips framing pristine white teeth in a mockery of a pleasant smile.
“You don’t die with them, little angel,” she cooed. “Big Brother wants a word before you meet your end, and I wouldn’t want to keep him waiting.”
Five years since Castiel had seen Sam Winchester, and yet his face remained unchanged, a testimate to Lucifer’s presence inside his body even without the pristine white suit and the almost mocking edge to what might have been a fond smile curving his lips. Castiel’s bones ached in an all too human way from where he had hit the ground when Abaddon shoved him to his knees before his former elder brother who wore his might-have-been lover’s face, and his throat ached from dryness and the urge to retch or scream, but he did not dare look away.
“He’s still in here, you know,” Lucifer remarked with a casualness that was anything but truly casual. “Sam, I mean. I almost thought I might have to worry for my grip on him when I killed his brother, but the way that empty soul looked at us….”
“Dean no longer believed there was anything of his Sam left in you,” Castiel rasped, a minute flinch escaping him at the raggedness of his voice.
“But you know better, don’t you, Castiel,” Lucifer crooned, coming closer. “You know that only Sam could truly inspire such creative savagery in me–”
“No,” Castiel interrupted, and had the satisfaction of seeing Lucifer blink. He smiled, a wide and weary sort of grin that set his split lip bleeding again, and tilted his face up to look through Lucifer’s eyes and into Sam. “I knew that even your savagery could never completely destroy Sam’s kind heart and clever mind. Otherwise… Dean would still be alive.”
“What–” Lucifer started, his eyes narrowing, only to be interrupted once again by Castiel’s splintering laughter.
“It was a mercy,” he gasped, swaying with the force of his amusement, of the irony being shown. “Killing Dean now… that poor broken bastard is finally at peace! He’s free!” He slumped, as if by saying that, declaring that freedom, the strings that held him bound had likewise been severed. He clutched at the ragged, metaphorical ends, willing himself to hold on a little longer as Lucifer continued to stare at him.
“Explain,” the formerly brightest Archangel of Heaven demanded, low and hard, and Castiel could not help but laugh again.
“Explain what? Did you think I was still here because I want to live?” he demanded of Lucifer, rocking and shuffling forward on his knees, another burst of shattered giggles escaping him as Lucifer actually took a step back. “Oh, no, big brother… I only stuck around because I wanted to see Sam one last time. ‘Cause I knew you still had him.”
“And what did you hope to gain by seeing him?” Lucifer asked, his lilting tone too tense for true mockery. “Another chance to overthrow me? Another futile chance to avert what is already far too late to stop?”
“Another chance to tell him what I should have said the day I took his hand,” Castiel breathed, and saw the words strike home as Lucifer stilled. Just a little longer now… “Sam Winchester, the boy with the purest soul on Earth or in Heaven… I love you… and I am honored to have been allowed to know you.”
He let go at last, and the warehouse erupted in the light of Grace.
Oh my god. This is beautiful and terrible and haunting and Castiel is absolutely 100% right. Sam would have wanted Dean to die, so he could be at what passed for peace with him still separated from his brother.
Karate, SPN Demonic Octopus Guardian 