Tag: ace

math-is-magic:

One of my good friends just came out to her boyfriend about being ace. She was so worried about it, and she’s used to having to explain what asexuality even is, even before she can worry about getting acceptance for it. 

So she asked him if he knew what that meant, and he was like, “Oh, yeah! One of my favorite characters on TV is ace! (Todd, from BoJack Horseman) I get that,” and it just made her entire coming out to him so much easier and more accepting and she’s so much happier now.

Just. Like. Representation matters.

askanaroace:

kittynii:

How do you date as an asexual? I mean honestly I have no idea what to do here. Dating apps are about superficial looks, and how am I supposed to explain to a stranger that I will recoil the second they try to gauge romantic chemistry with touch or kissing or some shit

There’s apps that let you specify stuff like that!

I’m not sure how active they are but ace-book, ACEapp, asexualcupid, and asexualistic are are specifically geared towards asexual folk.

OKCupid offers an asexual option and is pretty well recommended by queer folk, at least from what I’ve heard.

I don’t know if it has a specific asexual option, but Thurst is a dating app spedificialy created for queer folk (by a group of qwoc) with a lot of filtering options, so it might be a good place to check out.

Basically, whatever your orientation, if you’re a woman, woman-aligned, or look like a woman, you’re going to have to wade through a lot of crap on dating sites. It’s not cool, and it’s not right, but it’s where we’re at. But don’t let your asexuality hold you back from trying out these sites if you’re interested. With so many options, yeah, you’re going to turn down a lot of people and a lot of people are going to turn you down. But there could be people on those sites that also feel like you! And there will be people on those sites that are happy to date an asexual and/or touch-averse/repulsed person!

We’ve all got things we’re looking for or looking to avoid in a relationship. Just be open and honest. “I like dating, I want to date, but I’m not interested in kissing or becoming too physical.” Sometimes we gotta wade through the crap to find the gold. If you’re willing to put yourself out there, you could find some really good experiences, relationships, and people.

And it may take some experimenting to find what works best for you! Maybe that’s keywords in your profile. Maybe that’s avoiding dating sites/apps altogether. Maybe that’s only going to ace-specific sites. That’s something you’ll have to figure out. What makes you the most comfortable, what brings some sort of results your way, etc.

It’s certainly daunting to put yourself out there, especially when the world seems sex-obsessed, but you’re not alone. Good luck!

x

Lately I’ve been really bothered by any variation of the phrase, “We don’t have to have sex now. We can wait as long as you need.” I get that it’s people trying to be respectful, but I feel pressured anyway? Like waiting implies there’s a definitive end you’re anticipating, so sex is a foregone conclusion. And then it just feels like I’m being scrutinized for signs that I’m “finally ready.” Ironically, I’m generally sex-neutral-to-favorable! But this phrase irks the shit out of me.

fuckyeahasexual:

I agree… There’s a sense of expectation inherent in the phrase. Just a simple “or never” would be good to tack on the end. Or else clearly establish that you’re not interested in a sexless relationship.

Ino

So much this….