askanaroace:

kittynii:

How do you date as an asexual? I mean honestly I have no idea what to do here. Dating apps are about superficial looks, and how am I supposed to explain to a stranger that I will recoil the second they try to gauge romantic chemistry with touch or kissing or some shit

There’s apps that let you specify stuff like that!

I’m not sure how active they are but ace-book, ACEapp, asexualcupid, and asexualistic are are specifically geared towards asexual folk.

OKCupid offers an asexual option and is pretty well recommended by queer folk, at least from what I’ve heard.

I don’t know if it has a specific asexual option, but Thurst is a dating app spedificialy created for queer folk (by a group of qwoc) with a lot of filtering options, so it might be a good place to check out.

Basically, whatever your orientation, if you’re a woman, woman-aligned, or look like a woman, you’re going to have to wade through a lot of crap on dating sites. It’s not cool, and it’s not right, but it’s where we’re at. But don’t let your asexuality hold you back from trying out these sites if you’re interested. With so many options, yeah, you’re going to turn down a lot of people and a lot of people are going to turn you down. But there could be people on those sites that also feel like you! And there will be people on those sites that are happy to date an asexual and/or touch-averse/repulsed person!

We’ve all got things we’re looking for or looking to avoid in a relationship. Just be open and honest. “I like dating, I want to date, but I’m not interested in kissing or becoming too physical.” Sometimes we gotta wade through the crap to find the gold. If you’re willing to put yourself out there, you could find some really good experiences, relationships, and people.

And it may take some experimenting to find what works best for you! Maybe that’s keywords in your profile. Maybe that’s avoiding dating sites/apps altogether. Maybe that’s only going to ace-specific sites. That’s something you’ll have to figure out. What makes you the most comfortable, what brings some sort of results your way, etc.

It’s certainly daunting to put yourself out there, especially when the world seems sex-obsessed, but you’re not alone. Good luck!

x

Honestly I could cry this was so positive and informative, thank you.

This may be the single most useful post I have come across, tbh.

kittynii:

How do you date as an asexual? I mean honestly I have no idea what to do here. Dating apps are about superficial looks, and how am I supposed to explain to a stranger that I will recoil the second they try to gauge romantic chemistry with touch or kissing or some shit

There’s apps that let you specify stuff like that!

I’m not sure how active they are but ace-book, ACEapp, asexualcupid, and asexualistic are are specifically geared towards asexual folk.

OKCupid offers an asexual option and is pretty well recommended by queer folk, at least from what I’ve heard.

I don’t know if it has a specific asexual option, but Thurst is a dating app spedificialy created for queer folk (by a group of qwoc) with a lot of filtering options, so it might be a good place to check out.

Basically, whatever your orientation, if you’re a woman, woman-aligned, or look like a woman, you’re going to have to wade through a lot of crap on dating sites. It’s not cool, and it’s not right, but it’s where we’re at. But don’t let your asexuality hold you back from trying out these sites if you’re interested. With so many options, yeah, you’re going to turn down a lot of people and a lot of people are going to turn you down. But there could be people on those sites that also feel like you! And there will be people on those sites that are happy to date an asexual and/or touch-averse/repulsed person!

We’ve all got things we’re looking for or looking to avoid in a relationship. Just be open and honest. “I like dating, I want to date, but I’m not interested in kissing or becoming too physical.” Sometimes we gotta wade through the crap to find the gold. If you’re willing to put yourself out there, you could find some really good experiences, relationships, and people.

And it may take some experimenting to find what works best for you! Maybe that’s keywords in your profile. Maybe that’s avoiding dating sites/apps altogether. Maybe that’s only going to ace-specific sites. That’s something you’ll have to figure out. What makes you the most comfortable, what brings some sort of results your way, etc.

It’s certainly daunting to put yourself out there, especially when the world seems sex-obsessed, but you’re not alone. Good luck!

x

Dating While Asexual

fuckyeahasexual:

We’ve recently received an influx of asks for asexual dating advice, and it came to my attention that there’s not many how-tos on tackling the dating world as an asexual. There exists a couple of ‘how to date an asexual’ posts, but as far as we know, there’s not a lot of posts intended for the opposite party.

This is by no means a conclusive list of how-tos. Ideally, there should exist multiple resources for aces to consult. Sadly, that’s not the case. But my addition will contribute to what I hope will become a more helpful, more inclusive asexual resource world.

(Disclaimer; I’ve only been dating while openly asexual for about eight months. I’ve dated beforehand, but I identified as bisexual at the time. However, I’ve gathered up a few tips and tricks that I think could help those in need of some asexual guidance. If you have any questions, feel free to hit up fuckyeahasexual’s ask box. Or, if you want lesser ask traffic, you can hop over to my personal, millenniumfae.)

So, you wanna date while asexual! Good for you! No, seriously. It’s a brave decision, and one not lightly made. But maybe you’ve got a couple nagging doubts. Maybe you’ve never done this before. Maybe you wonder if you’ll ever be accepted for who you are. Maybe you worry about keeping yourself safe. These are all totally legit concerns, and you can address them.

Keep reading