Tag: angst

threshasketch:

Dean scoots his chair closer to my bedside, and he has that anxious look like I’m hurt. I guess I am. Still not in any pain, though.

“You were in an accident,” he says finally, eyes flicking to my forehead and back to my face. He forces a smile, but I can tell it’s serious.

“H-how long was I out?” I ask, coughing again slightly. “Water?”

“Right! Here, here you go.” Dean has a cup of water already on a tray nearby. There’s a few empty ones on the counter next to that. And that’s when I start to get uneasy.

“Dean,” I press him, sipping at the water. “How long?”

A shadow practically falls over his face.

“They said you were awake when they brought you in, but by the time I got here you were unconscious. It’s been three weeks.”

“Three — that’s impossible!” I sputter and nearly drop the water. “That long, I wouldn’t wake back up.”

“Yeah,” Dean says, his voice cracking. “You wouldn’t.”

This is cover art for a one-shot fanfic of mine, No Time At All. Here’s the summary and more info:

Sam is in a coma. An experimental drug lets him wake up for a few hours at a time, though, and be able to visit with his brother. Dean is helpless to change Sam’s situation, so Sam decides to try to change Dean’s.

G-rated, 3616 words, Implied Major Character Death, No-supernatural AU, Nurse Castiel, Background Destiel, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Brother Feels, Time Skips, Sam POV, Hopeful Bittersweet Ending

Read No Time At All on Ao3

So many feels!!! I needed my Moose Bucket ™️ to hold all the feels for this one!!!

Where’s Dean?

emptywithout:

This is all I had in me tonight guys. I’m just too drained to do much more…

Dean’s fist swung hard and connected with Sam’s jaw. He went
down, hard.

Sam’s hand went up automatically in self-defense.

But Dean had pummeled into him until his eyes were bloodied,
his cheek split open, his breath coming in sharp gasps. But Sam had refused to
fight back. He never raised a hand to his older brother as Dean cracked his
jaw, sending sparks to the corners of his eyes.

“Dean,” he said. It was simple, it was quiet.  It wasn’t enough.

“Dean, this isn’t you. Please.” He tried again.

Dean smiled. “Oh Sammy, I have to disagree.” He leaned in
close to his brother, until Sam could feel his breath He gently caressed his
brother’s cheek, running his thumb across the broken skin. “This is the most me
I have ever been.”

Sam was near losing consciousness. He wouldn’t be able to
take much more of this beating.

Which is why he welcomed the final punch that sent him into
darkness.

_____

The bruising on his cheek took over a week to heal. The deep
purples and blues had faded into greens and yellows. By the time Cas returned, the
cut had healed into a nice thin scar running just below his eye.

When Cas saw him on the couch, he ran over to him, nearly
tripping on his way.

“Sam! What happened? Where’s Dean?” Sam jumped when Cas’
thumb touched his cheek, right where Dean had.

“It’s a long story Cas,” said Sam, holding his ribs and
grimacing as he sat up. “I’m glad you’re home.”

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Darkness

emptywithout:

“Sam?”

“Yeah, Dean, I’m here.” Sam’s voice echoed in the darkness,
his voice scratchy and hoarse.

“Where are we?” Dean wasn’t much better. His voice was
barely a whisper.

“I don’t know, but my head hurts. I think I’m bleeding, too.”

“Shit. I can’t see you. Where are you?” Dean started to
crawl in the dirt, trying to find his brother.

“Here, Dean. Follow my voice.” He reached out in the
darkness, hoping to make contact.

Finally, their fingers brushed.

“Shit.” Dean said again, and pulled himself up, sitting next
to Sam.  They reached out to each other
until they managed to grasp hands.

“Don’t let go, Dean. I’m feeling dizzy.”

“Here, let me see.” Dean felt up Sam’s arm until he reached
his face. His fingers touched something wet and sticky. He exhaled shakily.

“Yeah, you’re bleeding,” he said. “I think somewhere around
your ear.”

“What happened, Dean? Where are we? How did we get here? Why
the hell can’t we see a damn thing?”

Dean lowered his hand and wiped his brother’s blood on his
pants. He tried to remember what had happened, but he only remembered flashes.
Something about Jack? Jack was in trouble. They were trying to save him from…something…or
someone.

“Dean… I think I’m gonna…” Sam’s voice was wobbly.

Suddenly Dean remembered something. He tightened his grip on
Sam’s arm.”

“Sammy, I think I know where we are.”

But just at that moment, Sam felt as though his entire body was
on fire. The feeling ran from the tip of his head down to his toes, like a
shiver. His ears rang. Everything tingled. He felt very strange, as if he were…changing,
somehow. He felt the eyes roll back in his head before he slumped to the ground.

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*speechless*

*wails*

Sam’s Fear (part 5)

emptywithout:

Dean was reluctant at first. It took Rowena quite a while to convince him
she meant no harm. That she truly wanted to help Sam, and she needed him close
to her to help him get through the curse he was put under. He really didn’t
want to let Sam go, he wanted him right by him, to help him through this. But
somehow Rowena convinced him.

What she didn’t tell Dean, of course, was that she was lying.

She knew that Sam wasn’t in fact, cursed. It was much worse than that.
Rowena knew Dean wouldn’t understand the truth. He wouldn’t be able to let Sam
go if he knew. So she did what she knew would work. Sometimes lies have to be
told, she thought.

***

“Rowena, where are we going?” Sam was confused.  He didn’t know why he
was leaving the bunker with Rowena, and why Dean wasn’t coming with them. They
walked out the bunker door, with Dean watching until they had passed through
the bunker door.

“It’s alright dearie, I’ll explain everything soon, I promise.”  Rowena
patted his arm.

They walked together to the road and got into a waiting taxi.  Sam knew
something was wrong, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it.  Something
was confusing him. He couldn’t keep his thoughts straight. Rowena watched him
the entire ride back to her hotel, waiting to see what Sam might do next.
 But nothing surfaced.  Sam was mostly quiet during the short ride,
staring out the window, but his mind was thinking hard.

“Rowena, what’s going on?” he asked quietly.  Rowena sighed and touched
Sam’s cheek, turning it towards her. She knew he needed patience. And calm
words.

“Samuel, do you remember working with me? Practicing magic?”

Sam smiled, his eyes now staring at Rowena. “of course I do.”

“Do you remember when you started feeling the fear?”

Sam’s eyes went dark, his smile fading. “Yes, I remember that too.”

“Samuel, do you remember how that happened?”  Sam turned away from
Rowena to look out the window at the passing traffic.

“No,” was his short, pained reply.

“It’s ok, you know.  That’s why we’re leaving.  So I can help
you.”  Sam nodded, but did not verbally respond.

“Alright dearie, just trust me, ok?  I’ll explain the lot as soon as we
get back to my hotel, ok?”  Sam nodded again, resting his head on the cool
glass, staring out into the city.

Rowena’s brow crinkled. This is how it started the first time, with Sam
becoming distant. But soon they arrived at the hotel, and Rowena was able to get
Sam inside without difficulty.  

It was inside when the trouble began.

Rowena sat him down on the bed and began explaining the situation to Sam. “I
still don’t know what happened, Samuel, but somehow you unleashed this upon
yourself – accidentally, of course.”

Sam frowned and nodded. “ok, “ he answered. He was looking past Rowena when
he spoke to her. He started breathing heavily and his arms wrapped around
himself, shaking.

“Samuel, are you doing alright?” Rowena bent forward to look into his eyes.

He was not alright.  Rowena knew if
she didn’t find a counter spell soon, Sam’s situation would likely turn
permanent. She knew the lie she told Dean about the hex bag would become
unraveled soon, and Dean would never trust her again. She needed to fix this
before the truth was revealed. She cast one more spell and watched as Sam
froze, eyes staring at nothing.

She was running out of time.

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Omg, what are you doing to meeeee???????? The suspense!!!!!!??

Sam’s Fear (part 4)

emptywithout:

“Samuel, stop!” Rowena managed to pull back on Sam’s
arm and he turned to look at her, his smile fading. She chanted a few words and
Sam blinked. He seemed to come out of a haze. He shook his head and noticed his
brother lying face down on the floor.

“Dean!”

Dean was not moving. Sam knelt down beside him and
gently turned him over. He sighed with relief when he saw his brother was
breathing.

“Rowena, what happened? What’s wrong with Dean?” His
brows were furrowed in concern. He tried gently shaking him.

“You don’t remember?” Rowena asked cautiously. She
didn’t seem fazed by the fact that Dean was lying unresponsive in front of her.

“No, I…actually, I don’t even remember how I got here. Wait. How did you get here?” Sam sat down again,
putting his head in his hands, not moving from his brother’s side. “I’m so
confused. I don’t feel well. I don’t…” He looked over at Dean, who was still
unconscious on the floor. He started to panic. Rowena reached over and put her
hand on his back, rubbing it softly.

“Samuel, you’ve been through a lot. You –“  but before she could continue, Dean
stirred on the floor. Sam looked up quickly and moved closer to his brother,
reaching out to help him up.

“Dean, are you ok? What’s going on? What happened?”
But Dean just looked at Sam. He got up slowly, hesitating on his knees as he
struggled to get his balance back. He didn’t reach out to him, didn’t speak to
him. In fact, he backed up.

“Dean?” Sam’s voice was almost a whisper. He didn’t understand
why his brother would do this.

But Dean turned to Rowena instead.

“Rowena, what the hell! What did he do to me? What’s
actually happening here?” He stood up all the way and took another step back. He
rubbed the back of his head, still recovering from whatever spell Sam cast on
him.

Sam was sitting on the floor. He looked from Dean to
Rowena, his eyes scrunched with worry. He was very confused.

Rowena stood up, straightening her dress as she stood.
She patted Sam on the head as she stepped away from him, reassuring him.

“I don’t rightly know Dean. That hex bag may have some
residual effects, as you can see. I don’t even know what kind of a spell he hit
you with, to be honest. May I?” She reached out to Dean, wanting to touch him.
She raised her eyebrows and waited for his approval.

He hesitated for a moment, but decided she really did
just want to help. Something was going on between his brother and this witch.
He didn’t like it, but he was willing to see what she could do to help.

Dean slowly nodded.

Rowena touched Dean on his arm, closing her eyes.

“Oh my.”

“Oh my what?” asked Dean, annoyed. He looked at Sam,
who was still sitting on the floor, looking even more confused than ever. He
hadn’t said a word since Dean backed away from him.

“Just a minute, dearie.” She took her hands off of
Dean and moved over to Sam, who just looked at her with sad eyes. Rowena gently
placed her fingertips on Sam’s neck. He flinched slightly when she touched him.
Dean noticed, but didn’t say anything. She took a deep breath and turned back
to Dean, dropping her hands by her sides.

“Dean, I’m going to need to take him away for a while.
He’s capable of…well, quite a bit more than I expected. And the hex bag? Even
though I destroyed it, Sam’s likely going to deal with some serious issues for a while.”

“Issues? What issues? What do you mean, take him away?”
Dean’s voice rose in anger, but he didn’t move towards Rowena.

“Dean, I’m afraid Sam’s been cursed.”

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*squacks anxiously*

Sam’s Fear (part 3)

emptywithout:

“Who did this
to him. And why?”

“I don’t know.”
She sighed and looked up at Dean.  He could see a flash of anger in her
eyes. Her voice became low and she spoke slowly,

“But I’m going
to find out.”

Dean was quite taken aback at Rowena’s sudden interest in Sam.

“I’m going to find out who did this to Samuel, and let me tell you, there’ll
be hell to pay!” Rowena sneered.

Dean shifted on his feet uncomfortably. He felt awkward standing there,
while his brother was curled in a ball on the floor, being comforted by – well,
by her.  

“Listen, Rowena, I’m grateful for your help, and I’m eager to get the son of
a bitch, too…but why do you care so much?  We haven’t exactly been nice to
you.”

Rowena let out a short laugh.

“Maybe you haven’t dearie, but Samuel has been more than gracious to
me.”  She continued stroking Sam’s hair, watching his slow, relaxed
breathing.

Dean was confused.

“I’m not sure I understand. Sam’s been spending time with you?” He put his
hands on his hips, unsure what he was supposed to be doing with them.

“Oh yes, I’m afraid he’s seen me more than you realize.  He’s been
learning magic from me.  For
quite some time now, actually.” Rowena smiled up at Dean, waiting for his
reaction.

Dean’s eyes widened. “He’s what?”  He took his arms from his hips and
crossed them defensively, taking a step back. He couldn’t believe it. Sam never
told him this. Rowena chose to ignore Dean’s question, turning her attention
back to Sam.

“There are a few witches who aren’t too keen on me teaching the likes of Sam
Winchester.  I’m sure they’ll probably try to stop me again, but now we’ll
be prepared.   I’ve got a protection spell that will work wonders when
he…”

“No, Rowena, don’t put him under a spell!” interrupted Dean, trying to grab
for his brother, but he was easily shoved aside with a wave of her hand. Rowena
rolled her eyes and sighed heavily.  “Listen here, Dean-o, I’m not putting
him ‘under a spell’,” Rowena put her fingers up, making air quotes as she
spoke. Dean caught his balance and leaned against the nearby table. Rowena
clearly did not want to be messed with.

“I’m casting a protective spell around him so he can’t be harmed.”  She
tried not to be annoyed with Dean as she explained what she needed to do. “I’m
also protecting him from what he might be capable of doing to others. This hex
bag has stirred up some deep, terrifying emotions.”

Reluctantly, Dean nodded and let Rowena cast the spell. She chanted a few
words Dean did not understand, and touched Sam’s forehead. Dean waited, not
realizing he was holding his breath until he felt his lungs burning.

Moments later, Sam groaned and stirred under Rowena’s touch.

“Samuel, dearie, you alright then?”
Rowena tucked his hair behind his ear as her turned to look at her. “Hey Ro –
what happened?” Sam’s voice was nearly a whisper.

“Hex bag, dearie. So sorry I didn’t get to you sooner.  But you’re ok
now, aren’tcha?”  Sam nodded and slowly sat up as Rowena released him from
her embrace.

“I think so.  I mean, I feel fine, just a little sluggish, is all.”

“That’ll wear off once the protection spell takes hold.”  Rowena patted
his cheek and Sam smiled back at her.

“A protection spell?” He asked, not looking away from her.

But Dean would not be denied attention any longer. He needed to look into
Sam’s eyes and speak to him directly. Sam almost didn’t even seem to know Dean
was in the room. He knelt down on the other side of Sam and nudged him with his
elbow.

“I’m really glad you’re ok, Sam…but…magic?”

Sam was immediately defensive and his smile darkened into a deep frown as he
turned to look at his brother for the first time.

“Magic makes me feel powerful, Dean.” said Sam, calmly.

“Demon blood made you feel powerful, too, Sammy.” Dean wasn’t sure if he was
supposed to be angry or worried.

“Oh my g– are you serious? This is different!” Sam started to raise his
voice. Rowena cautiously put a hand on Sam’s arm.

“How is this different?” Dean asked, incredulously, sitting back on his
heels.

“Well, I’m not drinking demon blood, for starters!”  Sam’s voice was
now a yell. He scooted away from Dean, moving closer to Rowena.

“Yeah, well…but…Sam, Rowena?” He held his hand up, waving in her direction.
Sam shrugged his shoulders, lowering his voice at the sound of her name.

“I dunno Dean, I kinda like her.”

“You LIKE her?”

Sam snorted. “Yeah Dean, I do. She’s helped me embrace
and increase my dormant powers. And I don’t need demon blood to do it, either.”

“And you think this is a good idea?”  Dean was finding
this entire conversation hard to believe.

“Yes Dean, I do.” Sam’s voice was now unrecognizable.
Dean could almost feel the anger radiating off of his brother’s skin. There was
an awkward silence for a few seconds, each brother staring the other one down.

Rowena suddenly leaned forward, interrupting the
silence, her hand still on Sam’s arm.

“Dean, must you rile him up now? You saw what he just
went through, let him be for now. Let me help him, you two can argue later.”

Dean clenched his teeth and growled, “Fine.”

But as Dean stood and turned his back to the two still
sitting on the floor, Sam suddenly raised his hand, his eyes glowing a
silvery-purple color. Rowena instantly saw what was about to happen and she
cried out, “Samuel, no!” She pulled back on his arm.

But it was too late. The wave of magic that flew from
Sam’s fingers hit his brother square in the back, and Dean dropped to the floor
instantly.

Sam smiled.

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Samoose, what did you DOOOOO???

Sam’s Fear (part 2)

emptywithout:

“Crowley!” Dean called, his voice thick with panic…  

In an instant, the demon appeared behind Dean.

“Crowley here,” He looked and Dean, smiling, but his face changed
quickly. He frowned when he saw Sam on the floor under the table, holding a
knife to his neck.  

“What’s going on with Moose?” asked Crowley, his eyes never leaving Sam, his
voice showing sincere concern. Dean turned to face Crowley, his face red.

“Dammit Crowley, if I knew, I’d be helping him!  Why the hell do you
think I called you! Maybe he’s under a spell, I mean, just look at him!  Come on, you know that this is not how he is!
Even when he’s upset he’s not like this!”

Crowley nodded, looking from Sam to Dean, and back to Sam again.  Then he lifted his hand, spreading his
fingers wide, waving it over Sam’s general direction.

“Right. Well, I can’t tell what it is Dean, but you’re right. It’s some sort
of a spell.”

Dean closed his eyes and lowered his head slightly. He couldn’t believe what
he was about to say. He sighed heavily and turned to face the demon.

“Can you please find Rowena?”  Dean suddenly grabbed Crowley, shaking
him by the shoulders. Crowley pretended to be offended by the outburst, but of
course, he couldn’t resist Dean even if he wanted to. There was just something
about the Winchesters. He removed Dean’s hands from his jacket, holding on
a second longer than he probably should have.

“Happy to.”

Releasing Dean’s hands, he disappeared.
Dean didn’t have to wait long.  Moments
later, he reappeared, Rowena clutching his arm. She clearly wasn’t too pleased
to be dragged here, but the moment she saw Sam, she gasped in concern and moved
to his side. 

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8:00 Whiskey

emptywithout:

Sam paced back and forth across the kitchen, his bare feet scuffling along the cold, tiled floor. It had been three days since he had seen Dean. He woke up that day and Dean was just…gone. No note, nothing. No signs of a struggle. Dean hadn’t called or texted either.

Although it was 8 o’clock in the morning, he poured himself a glass of whiskey and quickly drank it down. He had a horrible feeling in the pit of his stomach.

He poured another glass, but just held it, staring across the room at the door, as if Dean would walk in at any second. His grip tightened on the glass, and it shattered in his hand, shards of glass and liquor going everywhere. Sam looked at the cuts on his hand, watching the blood mix with the alcohol, barely noticing the sting.

He did look up however, when he felt a presence in the room. He knew it wasn’t Dean. He turned slowly to face the intruder.

“ ‘Sup Sam? I’ve got something to tell you…”

Sam nodded acceptingly, his hair falling into his face. He did not cry. He offered her a drink. She set her scythe against the wall and joined him.

This glass he finished slowly. It would probably be his last.

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