Tag: it is valid

15/f So I’m just realizing that I might be bisexual and I’m kinda in a gay panic…Like a very mini gay panic cuz I’ve been questioning my sexuality for a couple of years now and honestly idk what to think or do. I’m mostly attracted to guys but then some girls are just like really hot. The thing is, I don’t really get crushes. Like I could just see someone and say “well they’re kinda cute” and that’ll be it. I lust over a couple of celebs though. And also Alex Kingston’s daughter is HOT. Help?

jemariel:

Helloooooo! Ok so *see end for disclaimer.

Thank you for coming to me with this! I was in a very similar boat at a similar age, and though that was many moons ago, I think I can still remember how it felt. (Like a big confused mess, right? That’s ok!)

The nice thing about where you’re at is that you really don’t have to do anything about it right now. You have SO MUCH TIME AHEAD OF YOU, oh my goodness, so much time. So as much as you can, relax into it, and explore this at your own pace. Don’t force it. Don’t get crushes? That’s fine. It will happen someday, or it won’t, and both are fine! Think boys are hot? Awesome. Think girls are hot? Great. You’re exploring all of this for the first time. You do NOT need to rush into anything.

Finding a label for yourself – like bisexual – can be very comforting, because it can help you shape your sense of identity. But a label doesn’t define you. YOU decide how to define your labels.

For example, being bi does not have to be 50/50. Like you say, sometimes girls are just really hot. Maybe you’re, like…. 80% attracted to men and 20% attracted to women. That’s a completely valid way to be bisexual. And that can change too! Sometimes very rapidly! For me, I have days where I just feel REALLY supremely attracted to women, and other days less so. THAT’S FINE! However you feel at any given moment is totally valid.

And I think that is my major point: HOWEVER YOU FEEL IS TOTALLY VALID. Even if it changes. Especially AS it changes, because it will. There’s a feeling as a teenager that you have to decide things FIRMLY and FOREVER, and that’s just not true. I’m 31 years old and I’m still evolving and I hope I never stop.

As much as you can, try to relax and explore your own feelings as they come to you. You’ve got time. Enjoy the process. 🙂

*ahem* thank you for coming to my TED talk, I hope you got something useful from it ❤

*Disclaimer: For the sake of my own peace of mind I am going to assume that you did NOT come here for my fanfiction and that you block my NSFW posts. Please do not disabuse me of this notion.