Pairing: Destiel
Tags: High School AU, slight homophobia, friends to lovers, almost smut, cute boys bein cute
Words: 2768
A/N: it’s been 84 years since I’ve posted. sorry folks!! school just drains me but I’m almost done so hopefully I can put more out ❤ does this make sense? does it suck? who knows tbh
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Dean groaned as his alarm went off, his arm is still heavy with sleep as he reached out and smacked the snooze button for the third time that morning. He knew he should get up and probably shower or at least change his clothes, but he barely had the energy to get out of bed.
He had a late night with Cas last night. Cas is his best friend and they’ve known each other since he moved to Lebanon, Kansas in third grade. The guy is the captain of the swim team, but he’s a giant nerd, and that’s sort of how they clicked. For instance, last night they stayed up binge-watching the Star Wars movies even though they’ve each seen them multiple times. And then, of course, Dean somehow got them to argue over Batman vs. Superman. Dean had always been team Batman while Cas preferred Superman. “This will be the fallout of our friendship one day,” he’d said.
The cold tile floors in his bathroom wake him up enough so he can at least open his eyes and see if he needed to shave. He brushed his hand against the side of his face, pursing his lips as he decided that he’d probably be okay going to school with a little scruff. School policy stated that he needed to have a clean and groomed face, but right now, reaching into the cabinet seemed like a lot of work.
Shaking his head, he quickly brushed through his hair and slapped on some cologne and deodorant before throwing on his uniform. He really hated this thing. The khaki pants were uncomfortable and a little too tight on his ass, and the white polo with the school emblem was itchy if he didn’t wear a t-shirt underneath it. The dark blue cardigan with the same emblem was probably the only thing he could tolerate, though he thinks that’s because his mom worked her laundry magic and somehow made it insanely soft.
It wasn’t his choice to go to a private Catholic school, Hell, his family wasn’t even Catholic, but attending Brookshire Acadamy was the best way for him to get into Harvard’s medical program. It was his dad’s dream for him to follow in his footsteps and become a doctor, and for the longest time, Dean was okay with that. He knew he was smart and it wasn’t like he didn’t want to be a badass doctor who saved people’s lives, but after his first creative writing workshop, a required class for all freshmen, Dean was sort of hooked.
So, now he was a Junior and primarily taking English classes. His dad didn’t like it, he wanted Dean to be successful, and he wouldn’t hesitate to remind Dean every day that being a writer wasn’t going to pay the bills. Dean knew that he really, really did, but he didn’t want to do something he didn’t love. Plus, he always had Uncle Bobby’s auto shop to fall back on.
A honk snapped Dean out of his thoughts and reminded him he needed to get downstairs. Grabbing a pop-tart out of his mom’s waiting hands, he gave her a kiss on the cheek and mumbled a goodbye through his stuffed mouth.
“Heya, Cas,” he said, then turned to the backseat, “Gabe.”
Gabe was Cas’s little brother who was only a year behind them in school. He was kind of a brat and extremely annoying, but the kid was funny and had good taste in music so Dean didn’t tease him too much. He also didn’t look like Cas at all. While Cas was all tall, dark, and handsome, Gabe was more like short, chubby, and, well, the girls called him cute.
Cas, on the other hand, had bright blue eyes and short, dark hair that always looked like someone’s had their hands in it. As a swimmer, Cas had a nice body and was only about an inch shorter than Dean. He had a sharp jaw and a permanent five o’clock shadow that made him look a little older than he really was. Cas was attractive, really attractive, especially when the light hit his eyes just right. And when he smiled, Dean wasn’t sure how anyone could take their eyes off of him-
Tag: questioning
15/f So I’m just realizing that I might be bisexual and I’m kinda in a gay panic…Like a very mini gay panic cuz I’ve been questioning my sexuality for a couple of years now and honestly idk what to think or do. I’m mostly attracted to guys but then some girls are just like really hot. The thing is, I don’t really get crushes. Like I could just see someone and say “well they’re kinda cute” and that’ll be it. I lust over a couple of celebs though. And also Alex Kingston’s daughter is HOT. Help?
Helloooooo! Ok so *see end for disclaimer.
Thank you for coming to me with this! I was in a very similar boat at a similar age, and though that was many moons ago, I think I can still remember how it felt. (Like a big confused mess, right? That’s ok!)
The nice thing about where you’re at is that you really don’t have to do anything about it right now. You have SO MUCH TIME AHEAD OF YOU, oh my goodness, so much time. So as much as you can, relax into it, and explore this at your own pace. Don’t force it. Don’t get crushes? That’s fine. It will happen someday, or it won’t, and both are fine! Think boys are hot? Awesome. Think girls are hot? Great. You’re exploring all of this for the first time. You do NOT need to rush into anything.
Finding a label for yourself – like bisexual – can be very comforting, because it can help you shape your sense of identity. But a label doesn’t define you. YOU decide how to define your labels.
For example, being bi does not have to be 50/50. Like you say, sometimes girls are just really hot. Maybe you’re, like…. 80% attracted to men and 20% attracted to women. That’s a completely valid way to be bisexual. And that can change too! Sometimes very rapidly! For me, I have days where I just feel REALLY supremely attracted to women, and other days less so. THAT’S FINE! However you feel at any given moment is totally valid.
And I think that is my major point: HOWEVER YOU FEEL IS TOTALLY VALID. Even if it changes. Especially AS it changes, because it will. There’s a feeling as a teenager that you have to decide things FIRMLY and FOREVER, and that’s just not true. I’m 31 years old and I’m still evolving and I hope I never stop.
As much as you can, try to relax and explore your own feelings as they come to you. You’ve got time. Enjoy the process. 🙂
*ahem* thank you for coming to my TED talk, I hope you got something useful from it ❤
*Disclaimer: For the sake of my own peace of mind I am going to assume that you did NOT come here for my fanfiction and that you block my NSFW posts. Please do not disabuse me of this notion.

