“So yeah, before y’all see Supernatural a lot of work has gone into it, but a lot of work has gone into us trying to figure out every second.” (NJCon 2018)
i haven’t watched 13.17 yet (actually i haven’t watched any of the last ten eps yet woops) but i came across a gifset about sam insisting on watching his cholesterol and
it’s kind of charming and also sad because in terms of ‘causes of high risk of mortality in sam winchester’s life’ a possible future slide into hyperlipidemia, hypertension and coronary disease in a decade or more is pretty low on the list
and yet it also makes total sense to me that he would worry about it because it is the one item on the list he has quite a bit of control over. he can’t prevent his long, steady slide into premature cognitive decline thanks to numerous head injuries; he can’t prevent the everpresent danger of one false move leading to a gruesome death as he hunts (i mean, he tried to, but apparently sam is a Traitor if he attempts at anything approaching self-preservation, so); he can’t help that his mind, body and soul are literally hanging together via angelic thread; he can’t help the ptsd or the hallucinations or the insomnia or his walking depression. but food? that’s one thing he can decide for himself.
it reminds me of the time in early s7 when sam was in the middle of a florid psychotic break and he got into a fitness kick, trying to squeeze in a run/workout when he could. like he said in 7.02, he’s just “trying to hold onto the safety bar and ride it out.”
Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Supernatural Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester Additional Tags: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Schmoop, Worried Sam Winchester, Upset Sam Winchester, Protective Dean Winchester, Mild Spoilers, brother bonding Summary:
1-shot. The night after his talk with Rowena finds Sam having to finally face the truth and talk to Dean about things that he hadn’t. Sam’s confession then forces his brother to face some truths of his own. *Emotional/angsty!Sam & Protective/worried!Dean*
Dean allowed himself
to be mesmerized by the glow of the flickering neon blue and gold reflecting on
the ice cubes as they filled the bucket. He took a piece from the bucket and crunched
on it as he stomped back to the motel room.
He powered through
the door, unsurprised at seeing Sam in the same position he’d been in for
hours, while Donna cried, first hysterically, then just exhaustedly leaking: on
the couch, facing the wall, hands bracing on his knees.
Neither of them had
let Donna leave while she was so shellshocked by Doug’s near death and then
losing him in an entirely different way, resigned she’d sat on the couch and
cried it out with the brothers flanking her.
Dean had tried to talk her down, but gave up and turned on Real Housewives, providing commentary
between screaming matches and botched dinner parties. Sam, on the other hand, had angled his body
away from her, but had placed one big hand flat on her back and left it
there.
Now that she was
gone, the hand was slack on cushion.
“All right, tough
guy, let’s check you out,” Dean announced as he kicked the door shut with a slam
that caused Sam to jerk and wince.
Given the sorts of horrors that the Winchesters encounter on a daily basis, I was a bit surprised that the not-very-gory meat factory in 12×18 was enough to put Sam off his food. But then I remembered this scene from Season 7 – a hallucinatory glimpse at Sam’s time in the Cage – and, yeah. Okay.
Sam reacting to the cut up lizard.
Sam upset about the man being carved up.
Sam dislikes dismembered flesh.
I think it’s no coincidence that these reactions are occurring in seasons where Lucifer or his memory are active.
This is why Sam doesn’t talk about the cage to anyone. As someone who’s been abused, it’s hard to talk about it to someone who cannot even fathom what that traumatic experience is like.
I’m SO glad Sam found someone he could open up to, even if it was Rowena. And it was good to see Rowena be vulnerable and admit she’s scared shitless. This was very healthy for both of them.
Karate, SPN Demonic Octopus Guardian 