Summary: 13.17/18 meta. Takes place sort of in between/during the episodes and is loosely based on promo pics we’ve seen. Sam’s been depressed this season. We’ve seen it in his behavior, but it’s not really being dealt with, so I’m dealing with it here.
Characters: Sam, Castiel
Word Count: 1.7k
Warnings: depression, breakdown
Sam puts one foot in front of the other, each step pounding on dirt that gives way under his running shoes. The leaves are too soft to crunch, but the twigs still snap. An early fall rain has dampened the trail he usually runs and the cool air flows into his lungs with sharpness. He feels alive with every breath, awakened to the sensations in his body. The tired ache in his thighs. The sweat dripping down over his right eyebrow. His t-shirt moving or sticking on his back depending on how the air flows. He feels things he’s trying to forget like the empty ache in his heart and the sadness hanging over his head. His morning run is supposed to be a distraction, but it has the alternative effect of making Sam acutely aware of everything going on in his body and mind. It’s mindfulness or whatever new age terminology they’re using now. Sam’s done research. He knows being aware of how he’s feeling is half the battle. People go around ignorant of their body’s signals, stuffing emotions and ignoring them, hoping through positivity they will change how they feel. They’re numb. Sam isn’t. He knows what he feels. He feels it deeply. He acknowledges it every day of his life. He doesn’t need mindfulness.
Yes, I know I always hone in on Sam for my analyses, but it’s hard not to when he’s my favorite character. This episode was really interesting in regards to Sam and his storyline, but before I even get into that, I went to talk about the title.
“Breakdown”
There are multiple ways this title can be looked at.
It’s a direct reference to the fact that people are literally getting broken down and taken apart by a human so that their organs can be sold to monsters.
Since this episode did a good job of getting into Sam’s emotions and getting more into his head it can be seen as referencing a break down of Sam’s psyche so that the audience can better understand him.
It can also basically refer to the fact that Sam is broken down at this point, he’s tired, he’s depressed, and the way his life is, with all the negative things that happen to him and the people around him, has just gotten to him. That façade he had put up in the first half of the season has essentially broken down.
Since I have a ton of thoughts about this the rest of my write-up of Sam’s storyline in this episode is under the cut.
Karate, SPN Demonic Octopus Guardian 