pairing: castiel/sam winchester (could [?] be considered gen) word count: 4.5k tags: hurt/comfort, protective castiel, cage trauma, post-lucifer’s-possession-of-castiel’s-vessel trauma, nightmares, minor self-harm, anxiety and dissociation, bed sharing
this is largely @gaywitchtwins and @eruthiawenluin‘s fault, bc we were talking about why cas doesn’t canonically share a room with sam anymore after early s11 spoiler alert: it’s bc of lucifer. and that lead to me hc that sam has anxiety attacks and dissociative episodes painfully similar to the hallucifer stuff in s7 too. i love you but fuck you very much, nate and eru. and if it’s not noticeable, i really love castiel calling sam by his full name and vice versa.
Sam:I thought you got a room with two beds and a couch.
Sam sighs as he sends the message to Dean. It’s stupid. He shouldn’t be nervous or upset or scared or anything like that. Castiel says something and Sam looks up, trying to act normal, even though he lost the ability to feel like that a long time ago. Cas is sitting across from him at the table, helping him research for the case. “Sorry, what?”
“Is something wrong, Sam?”
Cas looks genuinely concerned even though Sam only sighed once, and Sam feels oddly guilty because it just reminds him how damn stupid it is. Sam shakes his head slightly and shrugs. “No. It’s fine. Just… It’s nothing.” Cas gives him a confused nod but doesn’t push, which Sam appreciates while a part of him does wish he would ask again.
Dean:nope, one bed. one couch. it’s the best thing the mtoel had available and I didnt wanna have to find another place. Dean: **motel Dean:figured you can share a bed w Cas. i’ll take the couch.
And there. That’s exactly what Sam was stupidly afraid Dean would say.
Sam:Why am I sharing with Cas?? Dean:idk, because you’ve shared w him before. hell, you’ve even shared at the bunker. thought you wouldn’t mind. Sam:oh. Dean:DO you mind ???
Sam types out an answer but hits the backspace until his reply is gone because it’s a little too on the defensive side and puts his phone down, needing to take a moment before he tries again. He notices Cas glancing down at the books on the table instead of meeting his eyes and Sam fights the urge to sigh, looking back at the news article on his laptop instead.
It’s not that he minds it. Or he doesn’t mind Castiel anyway. Dean’s right. They have shared before, and maybe Sam didn’t mind it at all then. Maybe it was comforting for both of them. But they also haven’t slept in the same bed since Cas said yes to—
Sam:No, it’s okay. I was just wondering. Also it’s only a full sized bed and I’m bigger than you.
There. That’s pretty neutral and makes him seem okay, right? God, if only he was okay.
Summary: Sam Winchester, the Boy with the Angel Blood. So as it turns out, giving a human angel blood when they’re already not *entirely* human from lifelong demon blood in the system? A bigger deal than anyone ever thought.
Friends coming back from the dead was unfortunately common enough in Sam’s life that when he walked into the Bunker and spotted Meg, all he had to say was “Welcome back. How’d you get in here?”
“Clarence lowered the wards for me. Didya miss me?” Meg hopped off the table she was sitting on and smiled at him. “Gotta say, I love the new place. Suits you boys perfectly.”
“Thanks. Where’s Cas?”
“Dean dragged him off for an argument about him bringing me here. I’m waiting for the verdict on whether I can stay or not. So did you do what I asked? Did you take care of my unicorn?”
Sam sighed. “I tried, but he’s… he’s stubborn, and reckless, and I get it and all but it makes him difficult to take care of. I actually put him in the worst danger of his life when he had to rescue me from a mini-Cage and did so by letting Lucifer possess him.”
“Ew. That must’ve sucked. How long did it take you to catch on?”
Sam sighed. “Too long. Lucifer was good.”
“But you caught on in time not to kiss him, didn’t you? I know I probably don’t have to tell you this, but he’s a bad kisser.”
Sam gagged. “Don’t remind me. Please. Why would I kiss Cas, though?”
Meg reached out and smacked the back of Sam’s head. “Because you love him, you dope. He loves you too, you know.”
“What? Why… not me, he’s…”
“Sam, did you miss the part where I’m a demon and he loves me enough to stand up to Dean to bring me here? Name one thing you’ve done that makes you worse than actual hellspawn.” Meg crossed her arms. “I’ll wait.”
“If he loves you, and you obviously love him, then what does it matter what he feels about me?”
“He likes you better, Sam. You’re a better fit in his life. You’re not gonna cause problems with Dean. I’ve been dead for years, he’s moved on. I’m okay with all of that. What I’m not okay with is you being an oblivious dumbass. Go kiss the boy.”
“And I’m going to eat it like popcorn while I watch you two play out the dorkiest romance of all time.”
YES PERFECT A+ GIFFAGE
~high-fives Meg and hands her a box of pizza~ Meg is a treat, and now I kinda wish she got to meet Jack.
Sam walked into his room, blinked a couple times, and then turned and walked right back out. He shook his head to clear it and walked back into his room. Nothing had changed.
“Is there a reason you’re naked in my bed?” he asked Castiel.
“Yes.”
Sam pinched the bridge of his nose. “Why are you naked in my bed?”
“I asked Dean for advice on how to…”
“Stop. Just stop.” Sam squeezed his eyes shut, now trying to control his laughter. “I thought you knew better than to listen to Dean by now.”
“Who else could I ask, though? I couldn’t ask you. Crowley? Rowena? Claire?”
“Jody?” Sam sat on the bed beside Castiel. “Ask the internet?”
Castiel sat up. “Was this ineffective? Have I not made my intent clear?”
One Small Kiss, Pulling Away For An Instant, Then Devouring Each Other
@ladylilithprime deserves co-author credit for this one as I’m just developing this into fic.
Visiting the bar became more frequent for Sam, now that he had Cas to use for cover. Castiel was very happy to have him there – sitting close together, the occasional casual touch, Anna would probably call Castiel an idiot but he would gladly take what he could get.
Right now, Sam was off playing a game of darts with Dean against some visiting friends of theirs, Ellen and Jo Harvelle. Castiel had chosen to stay at the table to make sure no one took it. He regretted that when Becky came walking up to him. “Sam’s busy.”
“I know. You don’t interrupt him when he’s in a game of darts against Jo Harvelle. I wanted to talk to you.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah. You and Sam are weird! Sam never lets anyone sit close like that, even when they’ve got a bunch of friends visiting, except Dean. And you know, I know they’re brothers so it would never happen, but if I didn’t know they were brothers I’d think there was something else going on there. I mean, everyone knows Sam’s bi, and there are a lot of people who think Dean is too he just won’t admit it for some screwed-up reason.”
A shout from Jo drew Castiel and Becky’s attention. Lisa had just showed up and interrupted the game to plant a kiss on Dean. Becky smirked. “And then there’s Dean’s thing for Lisa. They really need to just get together already, don’t you think?”
“I think when and if Dean and Lisa get together is entirely up to the two of them, and that my opinion of the matter is completely irrelevant.”
“Whatever. So why does Sam let you so close to him?” Becky asked.
Sam sat close to Castiel because it helped keep clueless people from coming over and hitting on either one of them. Sam acted in a way that would cause people to assume they were together so that people would make that assumption. Therefore, Castiel didn’t hesitate to tell Becky, “There is something happening with Sam and me. We are not brothers.” It wasn’t exactly the truth, but it wasn’t a lie, either. Castiel had fallen in love with Sam in his not-quite year on Earth, and Sam… Castiel wasn’t certain whether it was wishful thinking or truth that Sam seemed to enjoy the excuse to act like boyfriends as much as he did.
Becky pouted. “No fair. I saw him first!”
Castiel scowled at her. He’d never liked Becky, but this sort of petulance was pushing it into active hate. “It’s not about who saw him first. It’s about who Sam chooses to be with that matters, and he has made it very clear that he does not choose to be with you. If he chooses to be with me, you have no right to interfere, and I’m certainly not enough of a fool to say no and attempt to force him to choose you instead just because you ‘saw him first’.”
A gasp drew both of their attention. Sam was standing right there. “Cas?”
“Sam. Becky was…”
Sam stared at Castiel, and then moved to press a soft kiss to his lips. He pulled back. “Is this okay?”
“Yes. Very.” Castiel pulled him back into a much stronger kiss.
Karate, SPN Demonic Octopus Guardian 