millenniumfae:

(For more asexual sex ed, check out my ‘asexual sex ed’ tag)

Asexual sex-ed has been too long in the making. Currently, there is no dependable source of asexual-based sex ed. And that’s a huge problem. 

So one of the things that we need to talk about is consent, and how it differs from allosexual consent. Risky sex is all too common amongst the lgbt+ community. And that includes aces.

This is vital information for everybody, not just aces. We all need to learn how to navigate sexuality safely, regardless of who we are, or who we’re doing the do with. Asexual consent is the kind of information that will save lives.

The Difference Between Asexual And Allosexual Consent:

When an allosexual person gives a ‘yes’, they’re saying yes in a particular language of desire. They’re saying ‘yes, I am attracted to you. Yes, I am driven to perform sexual acts to you. Yes, I actively desire to be sexual with you.’

And that kind of ‘yes’ does not exist in an asexual language. So when these two people say ‘yes’, they’re not consenting to the same thing. We’re not speaking the same language. They’re saying ‘yes’ to something we’ll never say ‘yes’ to.

When you’re not actually drawn to the other party, and you’re not interested in them sexually, then mutual sexual stimulation becomes something akin to a chore, or a favor. And that chore can so very easily become a stressor, and from there a danger. 

In your typical high-school infosketch on what sexual assault and rape is like, you’ll get person A forcing themselves upon person B, while person B is crying, ‘I don’t want this!’ And that’s how we’ve been taught to recognize assault.

Thing is, aces are kinda inherently gonna never ‘want this’.

Consenting to something you don’t empathize with is a lot harder than if you did. So if you did not consent to be seen through a sexual lens, then being treated as a sexual partner would be non-consensual. And if the way your partner views you is non-consensual, then the sex itself is also non-consensual.

Except with asexual consent. We need to learn how to break a few rules.

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