In The Arms Of An Angel

madamelibrarian:

Warnings: Angst, Mentions of torture, Nightmares

I would’t say it was inspired by but it can be augmented with this song. Also, this has not been beta’d so there may be a tense switch or two.

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Sam looked down at the faint scar in his palm and rubbed it absently. A million thoughts ran through his head while everyone slept soundly in their rooms. He hated having insomnia but sometimes the dreams would wake him or he just couldn’t get his mind to slow down enough to stay asleep. Tonight it was the nightmares. 

He was deep enough in his head that he didn’t hear Gabriel pad into the library. The angel paused for a brief moment before sitting beside him, “Penny for your thoughts?”

“They aren’t worth that much,” Sam’s shoulders  straightened, hands ducking below the table to hide them from Gabriel, “What about you? Feeling better?”

Gabriel pursed his lips for a moment, then popped them, “I have feeling back in the ol’ smackers. Another day and I should be able to play a trumpet again.”

Sam snorted, amused at the trumpet comment because he’d read the lore on Gabriel, including his horn. Now he had a mental image of the angel jamming with Charlie Parker. Then he briefly wondered if Gabriel’s horn wasn’t a horn but really an Oboe. In true insomnia fashion, Sam’s brain came up with the dirtiest joke he’d ever thought of in connection to ‘Gabriel’s Oboe’, “Long. Thin. And if you blow it long enough you’ll have a stroke,” he said outloud, then clapped his hand over his mouth when he realized what he’d done. 

Gabriel stopped moving. Staring at Sam in disbelief and then breaking out in a deep belly laugh. “Oh, Sammy. Do I even want to know?”

Blushing fiercely, Sam avoided looking at Gabriel when he gave his answer, “I was thinking about you playing an oboe.”

“An Oboe?”  Gabriel laughed, “I won’t go near a double reed. It’s like fellatiating a bamboo stick.  Now I prefer a nice woodwind or brass.“ 

Now it was Sam’s turn to stare at the Archangel and then start to giggle.

Gabriel reached over and ran his fingers through the hair at Sam’s temples, noting a few stray gray hairs already showing through the chestnut, "You’re exhausted, Kiddo. Get some sleep.”

“Can’t,”  Sam sighed, “I keep dreaming about… everything. And it’s better if I stay awake. That way he can’t come for me.”

“Who? Who’s going to get you?” Gabriel asked softly, not wanting to startle Sam or make him shut down. Something he’d noticed both Winchester’s doing when things got to serious in a conversation about their feelings.

“Dad,” Sam whispered hesitantly, “but not Dad. Lucifer wearing him and then we’re in the cage-” Sam’s voice choked off like someone had cut off the air and replaced it with a small sob. Taking a second to collect himself, he drags a fingernail over his scarred palm,  "he’s torturing me… and Dad’s just smiling down, covered in my blood. Whispering terrible things the whole time. Not good enough. Weak….. abomination.“

Gabriel’s heart broke as he listened to every word this human said. He’d seen a glimpse into Sam’s soul and marveled at how bright it was even with the fissures of pain making it look like marble instead of glass.  Blinking away the tears of shame for what his family had put this boy through, Gabriel wrapped his arms around the gentle giant, holding him close. 

At first Sam struggled against the hug, but when he heard Gabriel shushing him and felt a hand stroking over his hair, he melted into it. Opening up  in a way he would never do with Dean because his brother would probably brush it off or tell him to suck it up.  Sam’s breathing became more ragged with every draw until he was weeping into Gabriel’s shoulder, clutching at the angel like he was the last life preserver on the Titanic.

Gabriel was patient. He’d raised young angels. Hide from his family for centuries and watched stars be born and die out, but nothing was harder to wait out than a man in this much pain. Even thought it was hard, he waited and offered what comfort he could. After a while Sam calmed down but didn’t bother to move from Gabriel’s arms. The human was so touch starved that Gabriel contemplated smacking the hell out of Dean in the morning for neglecting the sibling he swore to take care of. 

Taking a deep breath, Gabriel whispered to him, "Come on, Sam. Let’s get you to bed. I’ll stay and tell you about my horn. Maybe if we’re lucky I can  keep your monsters away and maybe you’ll scare a few of mine along the way.”

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